StarLight, StarBright
by Yellow.Iguana
Summary: My version of Twilight, but from Edward's point of view. Any comments for improvements welcome. Warning: I have read Stephenie Meyers draft for Midnight Sun and have fanfic'd a couple of her idea's: she owns them.
1. Preface

_**This is incredibly small as the preface, but I have tried to get the chapters equal length here as in the book, so it may take me a while to update and post new things; though I hope that when I do it will be worth the wait. **_

**_~ I own none of the characters and no plot ideas, I simply wanted to place some ideas into Edward's head. _**

* * *

Preface.

I'd never given much thought to if I could live again - though I'd have more than enough reason to the last few months - but even if I had I would _never_ have imagined it to be like this.

I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked back cynically.

I would _not _let her die. I knew if I took a breath now I would lose it, I would help him in his quest to destroy everything I cared about. Now her blood was spilled. My anger bubbled and I tensed I had only ever killed murderers or rapists, those who deserved to die. That ought to count for something.

I knew that if I never returned to Forks that I wouldn't be facing this now. But, as terrified for her as I was, I could not bring myself to regret the decision.

I truly was a selfish creature to threaten this innocent girl in such a way and not regret my choice


	2. 1 First Sight

1. First Sight.

I was concentrating; I was only playing to quit her relentless whining. How could she be bored? She was an immortal, an endless stone, never shifting, never changing. If she was bored now then she had a long way to go.

_Stop dragging down the mood bro… _

Jasper nudged at my mind, and I tried to lighten my atmosphere for him. His extra sense was sometimes a little disconcerting. Though as I thought so were mine and Alice's. I smiled a little and turned my full attention back to the game that was underway in front of me.

_Besides_… my mind drifted again as it so easily could this would help pass the endless time space that filled the nights. Only to travel again to a hell-like repetition of high-school. I had been too many times, and holding many graduate degrees in the subjects I was studying, and so nothing would really surprise me. Not that anything would if I was learning for the first time, I could 'hear' the eternal droning before the teachers said anything.

_Black knight from G1 to F3, White Bishop from C8 to G4... _

Alice was systematically going through every possible move and foreseeing what would be the outcome through her and mine decisions, then I was simply picking her visions out of her mind with my telepathic power. In less than a minute I flicked my king over and walked away. It wasn't often that I lost, seeing that not only I had the power to see the moves she was about to make, but also the moves I was likely to make, without consciously knowing it. So I had two advantages for the price of one. Not that it prevented Alice making impulse decisions, and trying to distract me into making a rash decision in return, it didn't always work but when it did I got frustrated. Frustration was my enemy, seeping through me like the venom in my veins, I became ruled by it until I either lost or walked it off. For my anger's sake I hoped I could walk it off.

I walked past Esme, who was sitting beside Rosalie. Rosalie was sitting at my piano, and I was trying not to grind my teeth over that fact. She played well, but as she often reminded me, her place was under the hood of a super car, and while I could fix most car problems she was the real grease-monkey. I almost laughed at the thought of her allowing the slightest spot of grease getting onto her. How anyone could be so vain I couldn't comprehend. Even with my insight. She seemed to pass on her love for good looks into this life, and seeing as good looks goes with this life, well, _they_ at least would have thought she would be happy. No, I know the truth; I know her deepest secrets, her darkest thoughts, her jealousies, what she wants, what she yearns for. I know the truth. And I wish I didn't.

I increased my speed to fly up the stairs; I knew if I stomped up, portraying my anger and sent a vibration through to collapse the monumental house of cards that my brothers, Jasper and Emmett, were building I would have to run as far as maybe the Canadian border before they would allow me to come home. I almost laughed at the thought of a good run. Maybe I could deliberately try and 'accidentally' collapse it.

"I wouldn't if I was you Edward." Alice sang, as she skipped over to a computer, brushing the keyboard as the screen lit up, having already cleared away the oak chess board to the cupboard.

_What are you up to Edward?_ Esme asked, sternly, her mind had a similar tenor to her voice, and I knew she was taking her motherly responsibility to heart once again. I frowned, and then jumped the rest of the stairs as Alice told them all. I heard Emmett's over-confident laugh boom up from below.

_As if he could get away from us, he may be fucking fast but there are two of us. _

Scowling and rolling my eyes, the annoying pixie had seen my decision finalise, I continued along the corridor and up another flight of stairs, ignoring Carlisle's hum as he worked in his office. If I sent the vibration from here and jumped from the window I could get a decent head-start, and still make a decent clearing of the Sol Duc River. I slumped onto the black leather sofa pressing the play button. Clair de Lune played quietly as I picked up one of Carlisle's medical books. It was childish to think of destroying something like that, and I was beyond that.

I read a chapter on the brains functioning, and then another and before long I was engrossed.

_Edward! _

Alice was screaming at me trying to grab my attention, and she flitted upstairs quite naturally, but as soon as she was in my room she gripped my shoulders with unnecessary harshness. The look of concentration on her face was undeniable as she focused on specific thoughts.

A girl, human, brown hair and eyes, nothing unusual; I'd seen a lot of girls in my one hundred years, and then she changed, she was lying on a wooden floor, writing in agony. We both knew what that meant; there was a lot of blood. The vision ended with a pair of blood red eyes staring back at both of us.

_She's connected to you Edward._

I frowned, shaking my head, knowing that Alice wouldn't speak aloud with the rest of the family in ear-shot. We silently communicated. How? I was asking.

_I don't know how or why Edward, but your essence was washed all over that vision, how could you not feel it? _

I shrugged; maybe I couldn't feel my essence because I am my essence. I thought things through, quickly, shrugging again.

"Why are you so tense Alice? What happened?" Jasper asked tersely. He stood in the doorway, flicking his mid-length honey-blond locks to one side. His scars made him a formidable looking opponent, and his determined mouth-set made him even harsher.

"It's nothing Jazz, I over-reacted." Alice smiled, releasing my shoulders, and I knew immediately that this was the wrong thing to say.

"Fine." Jasper snapped, twirling on the spot in an instantaneous movement.

"Jasper!" I called, "Wait."

He had already gone. It had been almost two weeks since our last hunting trip, not a hugely difficult time-span for us all, all but Jasper. Coming to us the latest he has the most trouble, and finds that he is terrified that whenever Alice and I converse privately, that it might be about him, that he may not be up to the challenge. He took this very personally. I however felt he needn't do that. Why should you dance with death? Some of us just may not be as strong as others.

Alice and Jasper are together on a level that Emmett and Rosalie have never grasped, and I doubt they ever will. Alice and Jasper tend to understand each other's moods and thoughts as though they too could read minds; Emmett and Rosalie tend to only understand each other's physically needs. Yet they all seem to love each other to a degree that I have never found with another being. Something that has not gone unnoticed among my family; problems within problems starting with how I was only 17 when I was changed.

Whereas Alice and Jasper have never been particularly physical, something we can be grateful for as when they are Jasper tends to influence us all, Rosalie and Emmett are. The couple is loud and they are proud. There's no end to the sexual innuendos and public groping, it's enough to make any man sick. Emmett is always trying to 'surprise' me with female pictures and trying to make me say I feel something, but of course… I don't. Needless to say I was endlessly berated for that fact. I ignored them, I knew my control was better than theirs, and therefore I knew that waiting was worth it.

As Alice silently followed Jasper, I tried to figure out my own problem. How could an average girl such as that hold any attraction for me? I frowned as Clair de Lune played its last few notes; out of frustration mostly. I kept tabs on Alice's mind, as she looked for further things connected to this girl.

We had moved to Forks two years ago, partly for Rosalie, partly for the proximity to Carlisle and Esme's friends in Alaska. We had been situated in Alaska, with another family of our kind, when people started to notice us, that we stood out too much. It was then that our family split off in a new direction, away from curious eyes. It was then that we moved to Forks. Here rain is in the up, and sunny days are few and far between. Rain is good, sun is bad. Nothing to it. Since we can go out a lot here, Rosalie is happy, she wants to lead a normal life as possible, she would give anything to be normal, even Emmett.

Then something I decided or the girl made Alice's vision become more detailed. Alice became dazed in Jasper's arms as she was taken into the world of the future. I rushed to them, shushing Alice before she said too much; I didn't want the whole family knowing of this yet. I wanted to know what she saw first.

_It was a dark room, the only thing that is clear is the wooden floor, the type of thing that is in the school gym. She was surrounded by her blood but that didn't matter to her. Alice and I both saw as she flung her arms and legs that her wrist had been bitten, but it was not a clean bite, Alice's confusion echoed mine. _

"_My hand is burning!" the girl screamed suddenly, her eyes flinging open. Alice and I watched grimly as I entered the frame. _

"_I know, Bella my love, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't help." _

'My love'? I frowned. I would never condemn someone I loved to this fate, much less in the school gym. The vision faded and I took Alice's hand, telling Jasper to stay and took my sister to the first person I would tell in my time of need. The one who could help ease my confusion.

"Come in." Carlisle said, we both went in, and our adoptive father placed the leather-bound volume back on the shelf. We explained the visions and Carlisle stood from his chair.

"Bella… could be short for Isabella?" he pondered aloud for Alice as she nodded, confused by this train of thought. I concentrated on his mind and I didn't like where they were leading him.

"No." I groaned this couldn't be; Bella, my Bella, was Chief Swan's daughter! I suddenly caught myself. 'My Bella'? She wasn't mine, she was nothing to do with me, and she didn't even know me. She would hate me. Who wouldn't?

"Edward." Alice whispered, as she was caught in the dreamy trance again. It was of me and this girl, together, all of school, going public with our decision.

"No." I growled and left, slamming the door. I would never do that to my family, not for a girl. I jumped from the window, ignoring Emmett's cussing as he watched his card-replica of the Taj Mahal slowly collapse. At least he had the sense not to follow me; I would not take kindly to that decision.

I cleared the river in one bound and ran through the forest, clearing the path ahead of me from any and all living creatures. I was thinking about what Alice had seen, what I should do. For everyone's sake; mine, my families and this girl's.

When the time came I headed back to the house, speeding up to make up for the time I had wasted assuring I had made the right decision. I could continue going to school like normal, but I would have nothing to do with Bella… the girl. I would act like she didn't exist, exactly like I did with everyone else.

Racing back through the forest was easy, a lot less tense. I could run freely, and leaping over the river was almost a nice experience as I felt my foot find purchase on the solid soil, and then my leg muscles contract as I bent down, and expand to lift myself, bending myself back. Flinging myself upwards instead of forwards, for if I made a wall in Esme's house she wouldn't let me leave the house until I fixed it.

I jumped up then, through the open window I had left open to my room earlier. I looked around, and then decided to take a shower. It wasn't that it was necessary. My stone skin pores do not emit any oils and therefore I never get dirty in that sense. However after a run it's nice to clean off any dirt, and feel the warmth of the water against our frigid skin. I dried off and dressed. Taking longer than normal, calming myself for the day ahead.

I was sitting, waiting for my family in the Volvo when they came out; they were expecting me of course. They slipped in without a word, but with plenty of thoughts.

Rosalie caught her reflection twice as she slipped in besides Emmett and Jasper once in the side mirror and once in the window, she was now in the back rearranging her hair. Emmett and Jasper had arranged a wrestling match and Emmett was concentrating on how he could win if things went too far Jasper's way. Jasper however was thinking most like the creature that we were the aching thirst that controlled our senses, the dull throbbing in our throats that were the constant reminder of how dangerous we were. Yet we insisted on pushing our limits, to know them, and to fear them.

Alice was the worse as she came in to the front seat. I always tried to block my siblings' minds but it's rather like trying hard not to think of something you've just been told not to think about. That thought instantly pops into your head and refuses to remove itself however hard you push. Right now, that girl was on her mind.

I pressed onto the accelerator harder than I should have and the wheels span against the drive. Rosalie raised her eyebrows and Emmett snickered. Jasper had an impassive look; he was trying not to give the 'psychological mumbo jumbo' as Emmett called it for me. I didn't mind, it wasn't like he would ever guess I was about to call a human 'my love' in the near future.

I growled as I thought about it again, I had said I wouldn't, and here I was thinking about it. I accelerated onto the highway, taking only a couple of minutes to reach the turning off onto the school.

A lot of people were here but our space was still free, no one would park there of course. I didn't see a different car here as I checked, knowing I shouldn't but not being able to help myself. So either she hadn't arrived yet or had gotten a lift. I flicked through some stressed teenage minds and saw that no one seen her. I frowned as I parked, watching the others as they got out. I heard the rumble of an engine coming along the road as I stepped out into the light drizzle.

Walking towards Spanish I realized that Ms Cope, a red-haired, oddly dressed woman was having her first encounter with the newcomer.

"_I'm Isabella Swan"_

"_Of course."_

_Oh, of course, why didn't I see the link! They look quite alike. _She thought, while fluttering through papers. _Oh, I really need to organize these stupid papers, right here we are._

"_I have your schedule right here, and a map of the school." _

The receptionist showed the girl her classes and how to get there, I saw the girl's face twice, and both times her eyes were dulled, as was her skin, her hair fell flat over her shoulders, and overall she looked very plain. I just couldn't fathom it.

I entered the room late, but the teacher didn't pick up on it. My Spanish was superior to hers, and she knew this and so didn't like to call on me. I could sit in this lesson and drift in my thoughts, something I didn't want or need.

I felt myself watching as the girl went through her lessons as I went through mine. Catching myself every so often, I was just trying to find out what was so appealing to me about her. Maybe if I could find that, I could quench it.

I walked to the cafeteria with my brothers and sisters. Picking up a tray and picking out a cola. I wouldn't drink it. Of course not, but then I went further up the line to get a bagel and an apple. If I ate this food I would chew and swallow, then later, away from these children I would have to throw the jumbled food up, out of my venom swelled stomach. Grimacing slightly I paid and walked to our usual table.

Jasper was seated with Alice; Rosalie was sitting next to Emmett. I sat in the remaining seat and looked at the wall. Jasper was rather uncomfortable. He would have to hunt tonight, whether he wanted to or not. Alice could see this also.

I had seen the new girl's face 427 times now, the male population was quite taken to her and I couldn't really see why. They were happy to sit and stare, after having sat and whispered to their neighbor. She was a commodity, a new play-thing. They would get over it.

I looked up suddenly as I saw a rather annoying girl named Jessica Stanley walk Bella into the cafeteria. It was then that I forgot all my promises to myself and my family, even to this girl; Isabella Swan. She was the most beautiful person I could ever remember seeing.

I hadn't been prepared for this through the thoughts of the human's, and I shouldn't have been surprised either. I watched as she tagged at the end of the line, listening to the Stanley girl. Her lush brown hair toppling over her shoulders, surrounding her pale clear face; it wasn't as pale as ours, no. However it was just right, a perfect snowy scene for those chocolate eyes, which held so much depth and emotion. I yearned to walk over there and introduce myself, to look more closely at her. To place my hands on her waist, her curves were subtle, yet defined, even through the ugly jumper she was wearing.

Suddenly Jasper kicked my chair and I turned back to see them all staring at me. Mostly horror, but only Alice had a smug look.

"What _are_ you doing Edward?" Rosalie drawled, rolling her eyes, as though she never understood my weird eccentric behavior. I just shook my head, turning back to them all, but still listening as Bella walked over to a table with the Stanley girl and all of her friends. I tried not to frown too much.

_Bella has been staring for quite a while now, can I turn and wave, we're going to be great friends I know we are, so please? _

She whined in my head to the point of squeakiness I couldn't ignore. I shook my head vehemently.

"Don't you dare." I hissed.

Outraged she stood and stalked out, ignoring Jasper's hand. I let her go. I wasn't ready to leave yet.

_Of course she wants to know who they are, what are we not good enough for her? Stupid Cullen's. _

I looked up to the Stanley girl, who giggled like an immature brat, and then flickered my eyes to Bella. I dropped my eyes immediately, though I knew she would do the same also. I was glad to hear no giggling from her at least.

"That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." She whispered under her breath from halfway across the room.

_There that should be weird even in Phoenix. _

I sighed, picked up my bagel, listening for Bella's reaction.

"The Stanley girl is giving the new one the gossip on the weird Cullen's."

"Ha!" Emmett laughed quietly, "What does she think?"

I frowned, I hadn't actually tried listening to Bella's mind yet, I reached out. I slid from the Stanley girl to Mike Newton. I couldn't get a read on her. Frowning I shrugged for my families benefit.

"The usual."

"Of course she does what else would she think?" Rosalie murmured, catching her reflection in the bottom of a metallic tray that someone picked up.

"They are… very nice-looking." Bella said, and I clung to the words. She had a sweet, soft voice.

_Well… duh! _The Stanley girl interrupted my thinking.

"Yes!" she giggled again, "They're all _together _though – Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they _live_ together."

_Does she not get this yet?_ The Stanley girl thought viciously, mentally rolling her eyes. Bella seemed to think for a short time and then move on.

"Which ones are the Cullens? They don't seem related…"

"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. They Hales _are_ brother and sister, twins – the blondes – and they're foster children."

Well I thought, at least the Stanley girl was getting the story right.

"They look a little old for foster children." Bella stated, and oh how right she was. I almost laughed.

"They are now." The Stanley girl replied, impatience flooding her mind. "Jasper and Rosalie are both eighteen, but they've been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. She's their aunt or something like that."

"That's really kind of nice – for them to take care of all those kids like that, when they're so young and everything." Bella replied. I tried getting a read on her thoughts again. Normally once I've heard a person's physical tone their mental one is fairly easy to pick up, and the fact that I couldn't was irritating me. Was something wrong? Was the fact I could possibly fall in love with Bella affect my mind-reading? I frowned. When someone like us goes through a change I know it's an immense difference but I didn't think it could change us in such a strange way. Besides I was fine with everyone else.

"I guess so," Jessica admitted aloud, _They're so stuck up though! _"I think that Mrs. Cullen can't have any kids though,"

As soon as the Stanley girl said that my anger flared up, she knew nothing about us or our family and making assumptions about Esme, one of the sweetest kindest people was just inexcusable. It was times like this I wish I could have walked over there and told Jessica exactly why Esme can't have children, and what would have happened if any of her little fantasies about me and her being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship came true.

If I squeezed her tightly I would crush her bones, if I grazed her neck with my teeth I would severe several arteries and then, when her blood was spilt, I would either leave her in a hospital, or I would be overcome by the blood.

However my self-control bettered me and I stayed sitting, waiting for the silent Bella to reply.

"Have they always lived in Forks?"

Her tone was a confused one, only slightly, the Stanley girl didn't register it, maybe Bella was trying to figure out if she'd seen us before. But she wouldn't have. We were with Tanya before here, Tanya was a good host. Politely rejecting her advances seemed like the only thing I could do, but now I would have to reject this stunning creature, I didn't know if I would have the self-control. I would have to, she couldn't be involved with creatures like me.

"No." Jessica replied. _Jeez, isn't that obvious? _"They moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska."

The expression on Bella's face next was an odd one, I couldn't quite understand it. Relief? Was she relieved that she didn't forget about us? I needed to understand her better I thought as I looked at my tray.

I looked up and met her gaze, she turned away but I didn't, I wanted at least a little peak into her secrets.

"Which is the one with the reddish brown hair?" she asked her friend, and I felt elated that she asked about me separately, even if it was because I was staring without even the politeness to turn away when caught.

_Oh good luck! You're not even pretty! You'd have better luck with say… spotty Eric! _

"That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him."

Turning away I hid a grin at how stupid humans were, she was wrong to ask me on a date and she was wrong about me disliking Bella.

Then a small girl walked past, closer than she should have and put her hand in her hair, separating it with her fingers and puffing it up. Jasper froze as the fragile human went within inches of him. Sending her scent his way as though he couldn't already taste it on the back of tongue, scorching his throat; he was imagining getting up and following her, leading her out of the hall, watching her pulse as she realized how close he was. How her blood filled her cheeks when he reached for her neck.

"Let's leave." I said forcefully, standing, as did the others as soon as they saw Jasper's eyes open to reveal the dancing pupils of the hunt-awaiting-soul. Walking to Biology II alone I was left to ponder that gorgeous girl.

I sat in the Biology lab, having the only table to myself, so I could spread my books. Humans were ignorant to us, they didn't recognize their fear as fear. They understood only that we were different and that they were uncomfortable around us. Not that we should be feared. That uncomfortable feeling is _exactly _kept my biology seat empty, our seat at the lunch table empty, it's what stopped people from approaching us once we made it known we were unapproachable.

Now however, the new girl, Bella was walking this way with a shy girl by the name of Angela. They walked in silence, I could only tell that Bella was there through Angela.

_Oh I wish I could say something interesting, I would probably just bore her. I deal so much better with little kids. _

Angela had a nice mind, an honest view that often could be counted on, not like the Stanley girl's. Then I watched as they walked in. Bella was going to have to sit by me. The only spare seat in the room, and so I started stacking my books, props as they were for I already knew their contents, into a pile.

Angela turned immediately left heading for her seat while Bella headed for the teacher's desk. After two steps she was in front of the heater, and her scent hit me. I growled, too low for any human ear to hear. Tensing I was ready to pounce. The flames that were engulfing my throat, twisting my stomach, were in control. The venom swelled in my stomach, rinsed through my mouth, I ran my tongue over my teeth and pressing against my cheeks. It was so sweet. I needed it, I was compelled to take her blood, to saturate my thirst. It was warm, sweet, sweeter than anything I had ever smelt. I balled my fists, trying to stop the monster inside from taking complete control. I was hesitating, a centimeter off of my seat. Anyone who looked would think I was still sitting, but I was ready to take her life. She looked over and in that second I remembered why I was here, I was repulsed by the reflection of my face in her wide innocent eyes. The monster; the evil soulless being that craved her life more than it had craved anything ever before. She looked away, blood pooling in her cheeks, tempting, so very tempting.

_No! _

I forced myself back down, making the stool whine in protest of my strength. As I sat, tensing my very being into a statue, someone smacked there book onto the table behind me, upwind from the demon in the form of Bella Swan. She couldn't be human I decided, for no human could be so tempting, nor so beautiful and no human has ever kept their thoughts hidden from me.

Therefore it was a test, a test from the devil himself to see my endurance. I thought of Carlisle then as my fresh air was running out and the teacher was finishing signing the slip, ready to send the demon to the only available space. Carlisle would manage this hour, and if he could, then so could I.

Carlisle had made the choice to live like this and seen it through, I would see this hour through, there was always a choice I decided as Bella Swan stumbled over to the table, distilling the air and immobilizing me yet again. I could kill half the children in this room in less than 3 seconds, a fist to the skull, a broken neck, maybe a foot through the heart, I could kill multiple times. There would be no witnesses to this terrible crime; I could be alone with Bella Swan in 6 seconds, clamping a hand over her mouth to stop the soft scream that was escaping her lips.

Then, I would move her head aside gently, no need to be rough with my prey and I would bite, feeling the pulse quicken, then slow as the warmth spreads over my lips and across my tongue quenching the thirst that hurt me.

_Carlisle… Esme…_

I couldn't do this to them. I thought wildly. The demon would _not_ win! I couldn't hurt Esme in such a way, seeing her hurt, feeling Carlisle's disappointment. She suddenly let her hair cascade over one shoulder, creating a screen between us and sending a concentrated air of her perfume to me as I breathed in. Was she _trying_ to die? It took all my strength to remain seated. If I could wait through the hour I could introduce myself, ask to take her to her next class, then lead her to the car-park, she wouldn't refuse me, I could persuade her. No one would notice two dark raincoats disappearing into the forest. Then as she moved Mike Newton two spaces behind registered it, he would realize if I left with her and I cursed.

I took another gut-wrenching breath and then realized why should I? I didn't _have_ to breathe, and so I stopped. The unpleasant feeling was not as bad as I imagined, and could have been far worse, for if I had been breathing I would have been having trouble staying sitting.

It was a lot easier now to think without Bella Swan in my head. It was true that I could remember her scent, and it was still loitering on the back of my tongue, yet it was not as strong, and for that I was grateful even if it meant being without the sense we relied upon most.

Where had Alice been through all of this? Had she not seen me massacre 20 school children and one teacher? Giving in to the monsters we were. Was she so wrapped up in Jasper that she had missed that it was actually me that failed and she missed it.

I was glaring at her when she looked at me again, she flinched away, flicking her hair. I kept my careful non-breathing composed and didn't have a problem.

As soon as the bell rang I stood, much faster than I should have and left before I could ask her to follow; before I had the chance to ensue any of the hundreds of fantasies that I had planned out during that hour.

It was easier once the air was clean, to think clearly and sensibly. I walked to my car at an annoyingly slow human rate as it was class cross-over and people were slowly walking to their next lesson. I opened my car door and slipped in.

Turning some music on and gripping my hair I drew in a deep lungful of air and turned the ignition and rolled down the windows, letting in the fresh forest air.

Suddenly I became concerned about Alice, why hadn't she prevented me? Or helped me clean away the evidence? Either way where was she to help me at my one time of need in my hundred years. I focused for my siblings, ignoring Rosalie and her Spanish lesson, and Emmett as he was vaguely aware of my absence; I passed over Jasper and came to Alice.

I was correct, she was watching Jasper with a closeness that was past stalking. Every detail was assessed and categorized. 'Risk', 'Consequence' 'No Consequence'. It was no wonder that I slipped through the gaps.

I slammed my fist into my leg, knowing that if I hit anything else I could possibly total the car. Then, I sat back, and turned the music up slightly. It would help calm me down; either that or I would just sit until the end of school. Either way I wasn't going back to lesson. I was too angry for that now. However I knew what I had to do.

When it was near the end of the school day I got out of the car I walked across the lot faster than I should have, but no one was around. I entered the Front Office to see Ms Cope rearranging her precariously piled papers she had rummaged through this morning.

"Oh! Hello Edward." _Must have been in my own little world, didn't see him come in._

"Hello Ms Cope, I was wondering if you could help me with something." I said slowly as I leant on a spare bit of desk, blowing a concentrated form of my scent her way. As I'd guessed, she blinked dazed.

_Oh, dear. These Cullens, there is something about them. They should go to some private school I'm sure. _

"Yes Edward, what is it?" she coughed, subconsciously leaning away from me.

"I was just wondering if I could change my Biology II class for a different subject, you see I've studied this material." I said, opening my eyes a little wider, keeping my lips level, and adding just the right of innocence.

_I knew it. Why did they ever come to a school like this after having such an extensive schooling elsewhere? Oh gosh, I really... He's too young! _

"Really Edward?" she stuttered, trying to keep her voice level and authoritative. "Well, there's nothing really available."

The door opened, but the person didn't acknowledge me and this was my priority, so I decided to try and persuade her.

"Are you sure?" I asked, flashing my eyes at her. I wish I had hunted recently, this would have worked so much better if my eyes were gold not black. "I wouldn't be any trouble. I couldn't even take the time to do some independent study."

_Too young. _She sang to herself as she placed her hands on some papers.

"No Edward, I'm sorry there's really no other option, Physics is full, and independent study means you would fall behind and wouldn't graduate."

The door opened again and the wind swirled some papers, I froze. I half turned to see her, her hair half covering her face as she timidly moved it away to receive my glare. I turned back to see Ms Cope trying to catch some papers. It would be so easy to wrench her head clean from her shoulders, she was elderly, was one elderly woman an even trade for 20 other children?

I forced myself from the room, _Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle. _I thought all the way. Trying not to feel her warmth as I passed within inches of her body on the way through the door.

I stormed across the parking lot, and slammed myself into the driving seat.

"Edward?" Jasper asked, trying to force calm over my red hazed vision.

"Stop it!" I snapped, throwing the car out of the space in reverse and accelerating to seventy out of the school onto the highway.

"You're leaving?" Alice whispered.

"Am I?" I snapped part of the steering wheel off and I threw it into the foot well. She couldn't see the past, she didn't know what had almost occurred, but now as I thought about it I realized Bella Swan will be home alone, with no innocent children to be sacrificed. Charlie Swan worked at the station that was his family until late.

Alice gasped;

_Bella Swan was standing in the kitchen, she seemed to be preparing food. I leant casually against the counter, and then sauntered forward. Breathing in her scent, brushing back her hair, she looked surprised and dropped the knife. She didn't seem to notice, this was good, and then I attacked, I bit her neck, but I was too quick, her blood ran down my shirt and hers, it flowed freely_.

I was dragged out of the vision as another piece of the steering wheel snapped off.

"Sorry." Alice whimpered. I shook my head, grabbing my hair with one hand, and then dragging the half-wheel round in a turn just outside the drive. The others slipped out but Alice remained.

"Please Alice." I begged.

"I know Edward." She reasoned. "You will do the right thing, Charlie Swan has been full of life since she has been returning. He lost everything when she left."

I nodded slightly, still unsure of the consequences this would have on my conscience.

She got out of the car and I drove to the hospital.

_Carlisle. _

I thought of nothing else as I walked into the hospital, I got to Carlisle's office and he let me right in. I explained the situation.

_My son, I'm so proud of you. _He place a hand on my shoulder. _Take my car, it has a full tank of gas, go where you need, but try to keep in touch, Esme will only worry, and you know I will also._

I nodded and went to his black Audi. The keys in my hand and I was on my way to a cold sunless place. I knew the people there and they would keep me safe. For now my family was safe.


	3. 2 Open Book

2. Open Book

I sat on the icy outcropping staring up at the starry sky. I had hardly been away for six days and I was missing my family. I was resting my arms on my knees thinking about things at Forks.

Was the girl concerned about my sudden disappearance? Would she think it was connected to her? No, humans weren't that smart. She would think I was away for other reasons, personal. Not connected to her at all.

Tanya ran through the forest to me. I frowned slightly. As she came over the brow of the hill her hair bounced back into place, and she slowed to a walk behind me.

_You will be leaving us soon? _She guessed.

"Yes, you've been very hospitable, but I miss Carlisle, Esme and my siblings." _Not even that demon can keep me away. _I thought silently.

_If only he had changed his mind, he could have been happy here. _She thought as she stared off into the distance. My frown deepened as I heard this, I should not have come here, to reawaken these fantasies. I owed her more than this but in the blind panic that followed that evening I went to the one place that seemed safe; Alaska.

I ran back to the house with Tanya, and said goodbye to the others, hugging them all before I left. Tanya kissed my cheek and I felt only a little uncomfortable. I felt less than a gentleman coming here and doing this to her, when I had rejected her and she was not used to such things, but I was in a hurry, and I had nowhere else to go.

They wished me good luck and said I would do the right thing. Was everyone as convinced as Alice that I was good? Was I the only one who had any vague idea of the monstrous act I was capable of? I stepped into the soft leather of Carlisle's car and drove off. Purposefully deciding to go home in case Alice didn't see me coming, I would be faster if I could run but I couldn't leave the car here.

In any rate the drive back gave me a chance to think about things, prepare for the eventuality of meeting Bella Swan again. I would need to take precautions of course, hunt more often. I could not afford to reach the state of thirst I had last time. I was like Jasper now, weak; weaker than the rest.

I took a round-a-bout route so I didn't have to drive the doctor's car through Forks; it was almost as conspicuous as the police car. I did have to be careful though that I didn't cross the line on the other side of town, even in the confines of the car.

I turned down the driveway and Alice slipped into the passenger seat.

"You're going back to school." She said, accepting and trying to see what would happen by my choice. I nodded, my mouth set was determined.

"I need to hunt." I replied, looking briefly over to her as she saw an upcoming argument with our siblings. She nodded briefly; _Of course you should, it would be insane not to take extra precautions. _

I nodded again, and then pulled up in front of the house. Esme had my door open and me in her arms before I had even turned off the engine.

_You stupid, irresponsible, naughty boy. _She chided in a loving manner as she squeezed me tighter.

Carlisle, and the rest of the family came out and walked down the steps.

"You didn't tell them I was coming?" I asked Alice quietly. She shook her head.

_I thought it would be a nice surprise. _She thought smugly, bouncing on her tiptoes slightly.

"I'm glad you're home." Carlisle murmured, though we could all hear his sentiment.

I nodded once, to show I too was glad. Then turned to Jasper, who was frowning;

"Why are you back?" he asked, all his doubt and conviction strung into one question.

I knew this was dangerous ground. Jasper wouldn't agree with me risking everything, not even when he did so every couple of weeks to try and strengthen his resistance.

Emmett would think I was stupid and irresponsible true, but mainly it would be a big game to him. One huge gamble which he would bet on the more sinister outcome, just to get on my nerves. Then Rosalie would hate me for even bringing up the subject, risking her life here. As perfect as her horrible life could get. So I was already setting myself up against three of my family. Yet Alice was on my side, and she knew how to get around them, and so did I. I knew how to wind myself into every little hole they have and expand it until they can't find a proper argument anymore.

Esme should be simple, she won't want me to go away again. She hates her family separated, and I hated going away. She would be neutral land; Switzerland. Swayed either way, whichever way kept her family alive and together unnoticed.

Carlisle was almost too easy, the killing of an innocent girl, just so I could get a few moments of bliss. No, he wouldn't allow it. Carlisle would side with us. Our father figure, the one who always led us in times of need, would be with Alice and I in our bid to be normal, and keep everyone alive.

Three against three, one in the middle; a fair argument.

"I'm going back to school." I said, bracing myself for the argument that would follow.

"You can't be serious?" Rosalie laughed, speaking for the first time. "Edward, you went halfway across the country to get away from that girl!" she shouted, tossing her hair back.

Jasper's eyes widened, and Emmett placed his hands on Rosalie's hips.

_Shit Edward, you trying to get Rose to kill you? _

I slowly shook my head, "No. Rosalie I didn't run from her."

Everyone turned to me, shocked. "Let me explain." I put my hands up before they could bombard me again, and Alice was already 'seeing' my explanation, and her posture became relaxed as she wasn't in the dark anymore.

"Like I said, I wasn't running from her. When I smelt her blood it was like something never before for me, and a monster rose up from the depths within me and I saw that within the reflection of her eyes, and I hated it. I hated what she had done to me, I hated myself. I needed to get away."

I looked down, ashamedly.

"You think going back is really going to be ok Edward? You looked really quite… crazy." Jasper said.

_It's probably best to just involve her in an accident or something._

"NO!" I roared, and everyone flinched.

_You have feelings towards her don't you? _Jasper asked the only reasonable explanation for my outburst.

"Of course not." I replied through my teeth, "Jasper thought it might be an idea to involve Bella in an accident."

"Of course we can't do that." Carlisle instantly replied, revulsion threaded the sentence in his tone and his mind.

"What else are we meant to do?" Rosalie asked, "Wait until Edward slips? Wait for the Volturi?"

"Of course not." Esme trilled, slightly hysterical.

"No, of course not." Alice repeated, she had been silent, throwing me to the sharks so to speak. "Edward is too determined now, it doesn't matter what we say, he's going to school and he won't hurt her."

Alice was concentrating very much on what she was saying, was she trying to make it convincing? Had she seen me perhaps slip? Reveal something too much? I didn't know but I didn't suppose I would either.

"Oh well that settles it then." Rosalie argued sarcastically flinging her arms up.

"Of course it does." Esme tried to finalize the argument, to let it end.

_Are you sure you can hold your thirst? _Carlisle asked me suddenly. I was so suddenly surprised by his question, but I didn't doubt myself, and I nodded, I would not kill her. Bella Swan. The girl's face swam before my eyes again, the way her lips curved, her eyes shone;

"It's settled." Carlisle stated, ignoring the protests, "We do not do anything unless Edward is unable to contain himself. He is sure of his abilities, and we must respect his decision as he knows that it is one that risks our family."

I grimaced slightly but held my ground, and Alice became overjoyed.

"This does not mean she will be your friend." I murmured, confused by how well it had gone.

"Oh no, she will be my sister, she'll choose it."

I froze, as did everyone who was walking inside. My eyes flickered to Rosalie.

_You insatiable bastard! _

She suddenly moved away from Emmett and struck me. I took the blow, I deserved it. She would choose this life? Instead of what? For what? Me? I was shocked, but as Rosalie was hurling her thoughts at me my mind would have to wait.

_How could you do this? Selfish creature taking everything and leaving her with NOTHING! She will have nothing! She will feel ok for the first few years oh yes! But then? A great big empty void that no amount of money or even sex can fill. You are condemning her to a life of hell! _

That broke me, it was as though I didn't know this; as though I didn't see what she saw every eternal day; each eternal night.

"I know! You think I don't know this? I have the most disadvantaging 'extra sense' in the history of our kind. It may sound good, but to know the deepest secrets and darkest fears of those you love and be unable to ease them, to be unable to do anything! It's torture! And then… then you find someone who you can't hear, someone who is silent to you, a normal person. Then when you get close you lose yourself to a monster you've suppressed for nearly a century. You are so close to murdering 20 innocent children for what? For the satisfaction of a mere few seconds." I breathed heavily, ignoring everyone as I took Rosalie apart bit by bit. She was shocked by my outburst, but I wasn't finished yet, I hadn't hurt her enough.

"The first time I saw her, when she first entered Alice's vision and I saw that someday I would love her and then she would be turned, I refused to be a part of her. I didn't even mention her in my mind by name. Then when in school she visited the receptionist I saw her again, a plain ordinary girl I thought; nothing exceptional.

Four-hundred and twenty-seven times I saw that girl through the minds of others that day, and not once did I see the attraction. Not until I saw her for myself. The way her hair fell over her perfectly rounded shoulders, and the way her chocolate-brown eyes held the all the depths of the ocean and all the emotion she had, her beautifully curved lips, her soft pale skin, a perfect snowy scene. The way her hips curved, I wanted so very much in the middle of the cafeteria to walk over to her, to look deep into her eyes, place my hands on her hips, feel her waist, see how she reacted to me, if she was scared of me or not. I wanted to know if she stumbled over her words when she introduced herself to me, I wanted to know how I affected her, all I knew that moment when I saw _her_ Rosalie was that she was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Rosalie hissed, and then walked off; the others too slinked away, only Jasper remained.

"If you feel so strongly how will you stay away?" He asked, and I knew he wasn't sorry about threatening Bella, if it was to keep Alice safe he would do anything. I sighed.

"I don't know." I whispered miserably. "It's the best thing for her though."

"Yes." He allowed slowly. "But love usually goes two ways."

I laughed loudly and harshly. "How could a human love someone like us?"

"I don't know." He countered. "How does love actually work? Figure that out and you'll be closer to your answer."

He walked to the house and Alice jumped down the steps, pecking Jasper on the cheek as she came.

"Would you like to join me hunting?" she asked, cocking her head to one side and waiting with very large onyx eyes. I sighed, knowing I would have to get it over and done with, and it would probably be the easiest with Alice. I nodded and she turned and started running.

I sprinted after her, springing over the river and rolling when I landed on the other side so I didn't cause too much damage. When I jumped up Alice was besides me going at a more leisurely pace. I matched hers and hoped things would move on from Bella Swan.

"That wasn't very nice, what you did to Rosalie."

"Alice, please don't. I hate explaining what people have thought to me, and besides everyone needs to know how I felt and that I can't hear her."

She nodded and continued on the subject despite my reluctance.

"It's odd that you can't read her yet I can see her and Jazz can affect her." She chimed as she changed direction and started heading west.

"You _used_ Jasper?" I asked sharply.

She shrugged unrepentant, "It was a favor."

I shook my head and broke into a sprint, breaking away from her, and heading toward a small grass clearing, we hadn't gone far and there was a small herd of deer. Crashing into the neck of a large looking doe I broke its neck instantly. Then feeding I took in the blood until it had gone dry. Easing the initial burn of my throat, I felt the blood slosh down my throat and into my stomach. I left the carcass for a scavenger to find, and left to find another herd animal that had scattered. Some small part of my mind was aware that Alice was following in the distance, but right now… I was the hunter.

Running home was calm, we spoke of trivial things, and I went for a hot shower before school.

I was nervous but was trying to keep the nerves in my brain so that Jasper couldn't sense them. If he did he would spout them to everyone in the town. Edward Cullen; nervous about going to school.

I dressed comfortably and walked to see Alice sitting on the stairs outside my room.

"Yes?" I asked as I continued past her and she followed.

_I was going to come and drag you out if you decided not to come._

I nodded, not at all concerned about my behavior. I had hunted, my eyes a light bright gold. I was not as thirsty as I was last time, surely she wasn't that bad?

I went down the stairs with Alice and met the others in the car. They had left the driver's seat for me and I smiled. There was a new steering wheel attached and Rosalie stared at me with maddened eyes.

_Break that wheel, and after that speech last night I will gouge your eyes out and hide them somewhere so you don't know what is beautiful or not. _

I was hardly surprised by her violence, but I still didn't want her to even attempt such a feat.

I listened to Bella through other people throughout the day, surprised when she had never seen snow before. But she had lived in Phoenix, so it wasn't surprising that it had never snowed there. I wondered why she had come to live here, and was again frustrated that I couldn't see any of her thoughts.

Coming into the cafeteria she only got a soda, claiming to feel a little ill. It was hard to tell if she was pale or whether she was simply her normal self.

I watched as she carefully walked to the table. She seemed to exert more conscious effort than most humans to stay upright. Though I could only guess at how much and it infuriated me; I hated guessing.

Mike Newton asked her two times if she was feeling ok, and twice she reassured him she was fine, would she say the same if I were the one to ask? If I tried to persuade the truth from her? I frowned, jealousy radiating from me. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Bella's going to look over in about 12 seconds, shall we at least try to act a little normal?" Alice asked us in a small hum. I nodded once and a big wave of enthusiasm came over us and Jasper winked to Alice as he and Emmett shook their hair. The snow from outside hadn't melted in it, and so they were now showering the girls in them. In a very humanly gesture Alice and Rosalie were both laughing leaning away from the wet.

_Laugh Edward! _Alice reminded me. I coughed in a few laughs, trying to be as convincing as I could. It seemed wrong to lie to Bella, suddenly a more forced wave of happiness embedded itself into my system and I forgot what I was thinking about.

_Why is she staring at the Cullens?_

The wayward thought drifted so prominently into my forethoughts that I twisted in my seat slightly to meet Bella's gaze. No wonder I hadn't been allowed to stop laughing.

Now I had her eye contact I could try and delve into her secrets, but to no avail, because at that precise moment her head dropped letting her lush locks fall to hide her eyes. I would have to try again, but from a distance.

_Why is _he_ staring at _her_?_ The Stanley girl thought viciously.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," she giggled. Again with a giggle. I internally rolled my eyes, waiting for Bella's response.

"He doesn't look angry, does he?" she seemed to blurt it out without stopping to think. Maybe I made more of an impression last time than I thought. Remorse and guilt flooded through me for scaring her.

"No," the Stanley girl replied, but I wasn't paying attention to her now, "Should he be?"

"I don't think he likes me," She whispered as though uttering the darkest secret. So she had noticed my aversion to her last time, the way I thought she was set out to destroy me. I would have to right this wrong. It could lead to things that couldn't happen.

"The Cullens don't like anybody… well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But he's still staring at you."

The Stanley girl was wrong yet again, we noticed far too many people, we were just good actors. That's what kept us unnoticeable, as part of the façade. What had to be had to be.

"Stop looking at him." Bella hissed, as though I could really take notice of another person when I was looking at her. It was wrong.

For the rest of lunch Bella kept her eyes down carefully, from her body language she seemed to be concentrating on keeping it that way.

When she stood she seemed to walk with a new determination, she left with Mike Newton, and I felt a strange feeling rising up inside of me. Like a lion ready to roar and pounce on Mike, sweeping him aside and standing beside Bella, protecting her from these pitiful beings.

Everyone seemed to be waiting for me now. Was I going to follow and sit next to her for a full hour? Could I manage it?

"I think it will be ok." Alice murmured, though she was unsure.

"Of course it will be." I said, rolling my eyes a little, though Jasper knew of my arguments with myself; my nerve wrecking indecision that wrapped around me and he raised his eyebrows.

"It better had be." Rosalie threatened, no doubt thinking of the brand new steering wheel she had just put in the car.

I tried to swallow and nodded, they were all depending on me, my family. They didn't want to be uprooted, they needed me to be strong. I wasn't going to run and hide from one little girl.

"It's getting stronger." Alice said, and I froze.

"What is?" Surely her scent, Bella's sweet; mouthwatering immobilizing scent couldn't get any stronger? The monster inside me answered, no… it couldn't… it didn't need to, I was already broken, and my confidence knocked my family fluttering around me like the stronger creatures that they were; pitying me.

"The future, you're not going to hurt her." She said, opening her eyes and smiling to me, I tried to get my old confidence back, the old Edward.

"Of course I won't, I keep saying that." I rolled my eyes again for their benefit, everyone's except Jasper.

He trusted Alice with his life, and yet my uncontrolled feelings were confusing him. What would happen between now and then that would change my mind? I would see Bella again I thought. That could happen, her beautiful face, her eyes, her hair.

"Yes," Alice continued, as though I hadn't spoken, "I'm almost one-hundred-percent sure that Edward won't hurt Bella."

Rosalie didn't seem to like the 'almost' but it was as much as she was going to get, as I stood and walked out of the cafeteria. Either way it would begin or end in that room today.

As I walked I did so slowly, slowly drinking in the scent Bella had left behind.

There was a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing was that Bella wasn't here and the bad thing was that when she will be sitting next to me in a few short minutes I would be smelling something stronger than this as it hit the back of my throat and I tried hard to swallow. I was grateful that I had hunted.

I entered the room and saw her sitting there, looking at her notebook as she doodled. There were little tiny circles around her name, and I dragged my stool along the floor to announce my arrival. I didn't want to scare her again. She didn't look up; not a good sign.

"Hello," I murmured quietly.

She looked up from her book, shocked. Was it my voice? The way I'd said it? That I was speaking to her? That I was being nice? _What_ on earth was she thinking?

"My name is Edward Cullen," I continued "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

That was it for my air. I gripped one side of my seat, and I kept her innocent face in my mind, and Carlisle's. _'I'm so proud of you son'_

I drew in a breath for talking, it was like breathing in fire, her blood pounded against her neck, her heart beating loudly. _A human being._ I reminded myself. It was ever so much harder that I couldn't hear her, I couldn't try to emphasize with her.

"H-how did you know my name?" she seemed to stumble over the beginning of her sentence, like trying to find her place, I tried not to let my chest swell too much. I laughed a little, let her familiarize herself with the sound.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive."

I drew in another blazing breath turning slightly to make it look like I was looking out of the window.

"No," she persisted, and I was confused why was she arguing? "I meant, why did you call me Bella?"

Bella was her name, that's what everyone called her. Then I realized it wasn't.

"Do you prefer Isabella?"

"No, I like Bella." She countered, and I was slowly realizing my mistake. "But I think Charlie – I mean my Dad – must call me Isabella behind my back – that's what everyone here seems to know me as."

She had noticed my mistake, and yet she looked like she was uncomfortable explaining it; as though it was something she had done wrong. Everyone who had first seen this girl had called her 'Isabella' had I not been what I am with the extra 'advantages' that I have I too would have called her Isabella. Instead I called her Bella, as though we had already met, as though we had been friends for years.

"Oh." I said in the way that finished the conversation, and slowly dragged in a long breath to fill the silence but she looked away at that time, her hair filling the air with her concentrated form. I almost gagged and gripped tighter.

Mr. Banner came in that moment and we were doing a practical lesson. More time for talking, breathing and moving. I frowned, did I really need a bigger test than this? I couldn't just ignore her, it would seem odd to ignore her one lesson, disappear for a week and then return to have a short conversation only to continue with ignoring her.

We were working with a microscope, trying to identify the phases of mitosis; without the use of books. As much as I would have preferred taking 'notes' today I was curious to how Bella would do in this. Would she rely on me? Would she want to sneak peeks at the book? How would my intellect make her feel? Should I play myself down for her? I frowned slightly, unsure how to proceed. I decided to let her go first and see how she did, if she needed help I could perhaps offer some, or depending on what the situation called for do something else.

"Get started." Came the command.

I placed a smile on my face, carefully hiding my teeth because humans can find them strange and scary, and said "Ladies first, partner?"

She stared at me, maybe she was shocked that I even contemplated her going first. She was still staring.

"Or I could start, if you wish." I started to frown, she blushed, her skin tone setting a radiant blaze to the rest of the classroom.

"No, I'll go ahead."

She studied the slide that she set in place for a short time, and said quickly;

"Prophase."

She was removing the slide when I put my hand out to stop her, it was a stupid motion, as though I belonged here, as though I had in fact been friends with her for years, I should have known better.

"Do you mind if I look?" when I touched her I had been expecting her warm skin against my icy temperature, but the electric current that passed between us was strange, overwhelming. Almost like Kate's extra power up in Alaska. I withdrew my hand quickly, as she did hers. I had scared her.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, and I reached for the microscope unsure of what else to do, a little bit of my pride was on the line here as I hadn't ever got an answer wrong, and I wasn't going to start now. She watched me intently, and I tried to act normally. She was right, and I don't know if I was surprised or not. Brains and beauty? No wonder I was taken to her.

"Prophase,"

I wrote the answer in the worksheet we had been given. I switched slides and gave it a cursory glance.

"Anaphase."

Her voice was indifferent, "May I?"

I smiled slightly as I pushed the microscope towards her, though it may have appeared more like a smirk as I had another lungful of air. Bella seemed eager to look through the eyepiece for this slide for some reason, and then only to be disappointed. Why? Was I wrong? I frowned, what had I done?

"Slide three?" she asked, holding out her perfectly sculpted hand, and it took me a second to move again. However when I did I was careful not to touch her again, I couldn't risk scaring her. She seemed to be the type to easily scare. I watched as she scarcely looked at the slide.

"Interphase." She didn't wait for me to ask, passing it to me for checking was the assumption she'd made. I took a small look and agreed. While I wrote it down I noticed that she hadn't written anything. This confused me; did she not feel the need to? But as she looked at my page I felt like it was more to do with me than anything else. I frowned, why would what I've written make her not want to write anything down? I looked down at my sheet, and then realized that my writing must intimidate her, that's why.

So we were finished, quicker than anyone else in the room and with nothing to distract me from her smell I had could concentrate on nothing else but the conundrum of her mind.

I was watching her intently, concentrating, I had never _had _to specifically concentrate, but I couldn't think of anything else to do.

She glanced up at me, and she saw that I was staring at her.

"Did you get contacts?" she blurted out again, with the same tone she used earlier in the cafeteria.

I was confused, why would she ask this? "No."

"Oh," she grumbled. "I thought there was something different about your eyes."

I shrugged, this was the second time in one lesson she had noticed a small mistake about us. I dismissed it, like anyone else would. I looked out of the corner of my eye and she was looking down, seemingly concentrating. I took in another breath so she didn't see me tense my muscles.

Either she thought I was lying about the contacts or that she was mistaken, because last time she had seen me my eyes had been black, I was thirsty, and now I had hunted last night and I was still feeling the effect of it sloshing in my stomach.

… _probably already finished, don't know why I bother. _

Mr. Banner was walking over, we weren't working and we weren't talking, he wasn't surprised but he thought it was his teacherly duty to see why.

When we first arrived here the teachers were astonished when we got even answer right when called upon, some stopped asking, others started asking more and more outlandish questions, and because their decisions became more and more distinct Alice was able to see them more and more easily, and of course I was able to pick the answers right out of the teacher's mind. In the end they gave up, and just didn't call on us again. We found we liked it this way anyway.

_Right as usual, though Isabella didn't write anything down. Probably didn't understand it, quite a few of them don't. _

"So, Edward, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" he asked.

"Bella," I corrected automatically, having thought so much about her, "Actually, she identified three of the five."

_Oh really now?_

"Have you done this lab before?" he asked her. She smiled a little, what would she say?

"Not with onion root."

Ah her sweet voice. So she had done this lab before, no wonder she hadn't written anything down.

"Whitefish blastula?"

"Yeah." She replied, dipping her head slightly as though embarrassed by her intelligence, was she? She shouldn't be.

"Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

"Yes." She mumbled. Definitely embarrassed, though I couldn't fathom why, the ability to retain information for later use isn't something to be shy about. I frowned.

_This is just what I need. Another one._

"Well" Mr Banner said after a few moments, "I guess it's good that you two are lab partners." As he walked away he muttered, "Gives everyone else a chance."

Bella was doodling again. I tried to talk about something else, I couldn't let her leave with the same impression as last time. I had already slipped twice this lesson and I couldn't afford it again. Not knowing what she was thinking wasn't a good start and so I went with a safe topic, something that a lot of students had been talking about. Weather;

"It's too bad about the snow isn't it."

"Not really." She answered, and her answer seemed to surprise herself, and that confused me. But I continued, maybe I could unravel the secret of her mind this way instead.

"You don't like the cold."

"Or the wet." She replied, and I thought about this. She wasn't tanned much, and yet she claimed not to wet or cold places, leaving only sunny places. I frowned.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," I pointed out, wondering if she'd ever thought about this before she'd moved. Then I wondered whether this was why she walked with her shoulders hunched, or whether she frequently looked up to the sky when she thought no one was looking, or even if she realized she was doing it.

"You have no idea." She muttered in a low voice. Maybe I didn't I thought suddenly, and the idea of me not knowing frustrated me. I _wanted_ to know. I wanted her to tell me everything she was thinking right now, and I wanted her to tell me everything she had ever thought. Why was her mind hidden?

"Why did you come here then?" I tried to say as normally as I could, only I noticed the shaking of my voice.

She frowned for a second, as though my question confused her, it wasn't immensely difficult.

"It's… complicated."

Of course, I thought, it's always complicated, but I was desperate to find out as I took in another mind shattering breath.

"I think I can keep up," I pressed, trying to make her a human being, make her have a past and a present, Alice had given… well I didn't want to think about the future Alice had given her. As long as I behaved nothing like that should happen.

"My mother got remarried." She said, and I was confused yet again. This girl seemed to always have me confused and I didn't like it.

"That doesn't sound so complex," I disagreed, but then I wasn't being very gentlemanly and remembered this must be hard for her. "When did that happen?" I asked softly.

"Last September" her voice was sad, her eyes narrowed and she tried to smile as though contradicting herself.

"And you don't like him." I guessed, it was the normal teenage thing, Mum remarries and teenage girl doesn't like him so goes to live with Dad. Typical kind of thing.

"No, Phil is fine. Too young, maybe, but nice enough."

So not typical.

"Why didn't you stay with them?"

She looked at me as though I was crazy, and I just waited patiently for her to answer. I wasn't very good at patient, but I exerted a special effort.

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living." She half smiled, as though the idea was slightly comical.

"Have I heard of him?" Her smile was so beautiful; I couldn't help but smile in return.

"Probably not. He doesn't play _well_. Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot."

Oh… I understood…

"So your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him."

She seemed stung by the assumption, and I tried not to frown. Was I wrong?

"No, she did not send me here. I sent myself."

Ok so I was wrong. I didn't like it, and I couldn't help but frown yet again as I got confused.

"I don't understand."

She sighed. She was sighing? Was it that obvious? I wanted to tell her that I normally wasn't this slow at reading people, that normally I was very good at knowing how people think, but I couldn't, because at that moment she started to explain to me exactly what it was that I didn't understand.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy… so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie." Her voice was sad again by the time she was finished her short explanation and I was intrigued as to why she called her father, 'Charlie'.

"But now you're unhappy." I said, pointing out the obvious, but I didn't want to assume anything else with her, I had assumed too much already.

"And?" she challenged, and finally I thought I was seeing the picture, she was a self-sacrificing person. Wanting everyone else to be happy before herself. This hardly seemed fair to her, the beautiful girl who had sad eyes right now. I wanted to make her smile, but I couldn't think of how to do it. Maybe if I helped solve her problem.

"That doesn't seem fair." I shrugged and she glanced at my eyes quickly, laughing hollowly.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair."

I looked down taking in another raging breath, feeling the impulse to kill the girl I knew I had begun to love. Sadness washed through me, this wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that we had been born over a century apart and it wasn't fair that she was looking away, hiding her eyes from me now.

"I believe I _have _heard that somewhere before." I agreed somberly. That was my life, a never-ending, never-changing monotone of unfairness.

"So that's all." She insisted, gazing at me with wondering eyes, I tried to break down her defenses now, but there was nothing, just a blank space. She did well I decided, to do all this for others.

"You put on a good show," I said slowly seeing what it was like to talk and breathe at the same time, it was hard, and I had to concentrate twice as hard, "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."

She had to be, the way she sacrificed herself, plus the way she had specifically insisted. It was the only thing that had made sense. Now as she grimaced at me my theory became all the more cemented solid.

"Am I wrong?" I asked, trying to keep the smile out of my voice?

She blanked me, her eyes flickered ever so slightly towards me though, and then away.

I smiled; "I didn't think so."

"Why does it matter to _you_?" she asked me, her voice irritated, and she was watching the teacher making his rounds around the class, pupils weren't doing so well at this lab and I wondered if Bella was aware of her intelligence.

"That's a very good question." I muttered, normally, I wouldn't have needed to given a human the background history and the future, but Bella was different, she was unique. I needed to keep her alive, to see her skin flush that beautiful red and to feel her warmth next to me. Inside I felt the protective lion rearing itself again, and I looked over to see her scowling at the blackboard.

"Am I annoying you?" I questioned, amused at her scowl, she was quite…cute. _Wait… I was calling her _cute_ now?_ This was not good, the word 'cute' wasn't even in my vocabulary before five seconds ago.

She glanced over to me and her face softened, "Not exactly, I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read – my mother always calls me her open book."

Bella frowned as though this annoyed her. I could see why, if other humans could read Bella so easily why couldn't I? What was wrong with me?

"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read." I tried to sound sincere, but still light. Humans found it uncomfortable if we went too deep, yet I wanted her to know that I was telling the truth.

"You must be a good reader then." She replied, and I almost laughed, she was spot on, more than she would ever know.

"Usually." I smiled widely, accidently flashing my teeth, she didn't react like I thought she would. She gave a small smile back and then turned around as the teacher called the class to order, unknowingly immobilizing me as she swished her hair.

I leaned away from her, gripping the table, trying not to squeeze too tightly because if I did I could snap it right off, and that would definitely cause a panic. Her scent had once again caught me off guard; and here I sat just as I had in the first lesson leaning as far away as physically possible, tensing all my muscles into position and trying to concentrate on what Bella and I had both seen without difficulty what was being displayed on the board. There was one difference though. This time, I was sure I was not going to kill anyone in this room. This time we were all walking out of here because I knew I could not harm Bella Swan.

The bell rang and I rose swiftly from my seat and left the room, leaving Bella still sitting at _our_ lab table where I had survived this lesson, and more importantly, where _she_ had survived this lesson.

Alice and Jasper 'happened' to be walking past as I came out of the classroom, and I took in deep breaths of fresh air, a huge grin on my face.

_Congratulations. _Alice chimed, skipping up next to me, looping arms.

_Well done._ Jasper was impressed, and yet saddened, this could mean the end of everyone worrying whether I would expose us, everyone would go back to pestering him now. I nodded to him, acknowledging his praise, and never would never again doubt how hard it is to restrain himself.

I walked to English, leaving Alice and Jasper behind, and I saw Emmett in his seat, leaving the only empty one for me. I was late, but once again I wasn't picked up on it, I didn't even register in the teacher's mind. He was so used to our erratic behavior that by now he simply just found it easier to pretend we didn't exist.

I sat in my seat and placed my books down, getting myself visibly comfortable for pretenses I pretended to watch the board.

_I was waiting for Alice to come pull me out, I thought with you being late and all the bet had gone my way. _

I rolled my eyes for Emmett's benefit and he silently laughed, I shook my head slightly, showing him that I didn't think that this was a laughing matter and he started to silently vibrate with the laughter. With a normal teenager in a classroom of twenty this can normally go unnoticed, however with Emmett his size is not something you easily ignore, not even if you're used to blanking someone out of this existence. We both received a glare, though I had a perfectly innocent look upon my face and had done nothing wrong, I was guilty through association; naturally.

_So how bad was it? _He asked when he calmed down.

I grimaced at the memory of the smell, I tensed in my seat when I remembered the delicious scent that had surrounded me, she was so tempting, especially when she blushed and her skin came into a beautiful looking color. I half got out of my seat and Emmett grabbed my arm, yanking me back into my seat. I looked to him, and he looked at me, his eyes wide with shock at my reaction.

_Bloody hell, Edward if it's that bad wouldn't it just be best to… _

I hissed at him then, forbidding him to go any further, no one could hear our conversation but I didn't want to hear the words, I didn't even want them thought, not him, not me, no one. If they weren't thought then they weren't an option.

_Ok_ he thought, and then drifted his mind off into other things, Rosalie being the main component. I tried to block him out.

The end of the lesson came and, still being furious with Emmett I stormed from the room without a backwards glance.

_Fine, be like that._ He internally muttered, walking at a more leisurely pace, a more humanly pace.

I stalked to the car and being the first one there I got into the front alone. I placed a CD into the player when I noticed Bella Swan walking onto the lot, throwing the clouds a general look of disgust as she put her hood up. This made me smile slightly, and before I knew what I was doing I was out of the car and leaning against the front door. Would she see me? Would she come and talk to me? I could go and talk to her; no… that was dangerous and stupid. Why would I want to? I asked myself, I knew the answer, it burnt deep inside me, unlike the burn in my throat this was different, this quenched the monster, battered it down, and yet I refused to admit it existed; because I didn't know which was better for this girl.

As she walked over to her truck she stumbled twice, and then she climbed into the seat, putting her hood down. I tried not to imagine how the cab would smell. She fluffed out her hair, though I couldn't imagine Bella was doing it the way other female teenagers do it… to look good; to impress the male species.

She checked in her mirrors to see for oncoming traffic, and then as she looked forward one last time she met my gaze. Blood pooled her cheeks, and she immediately dropped her gaze, putting her old truck into reverse and almost immediately slamming on the brakes. She had been so close to sending it into a rusty old Toyota behind her. Her lips made a small 'O' shape and I smiled at that, she slowly went back into her space and then, checking all her blind spots twice she reversed with such caution it was as though she was driving a tank instead of a Chevy. I started laughing, the thought that she was dangerous to anyone here, or anywhere actually was downright hilarious.

As she drove past she kept her eyes straight ahead, determination blazed in her eyes, and I was still shaking with laughter, though I knew from the way her face was set that she had seen me laughing.


	4. 3 Phenomenon

3. Phenomenon

It had been snowing through the night, dusting the ground with a light layer of white. The clouds had lifted the fog and the day was brighter, it was as though the sun shone down, but it didn't, something Rosalie was ecstatic about.

"We can actually be normal!" she had sung as we got into the car that morning. We all nodded, to used to this behavior to make an effort to join in with her enthusiasm.

"What is wrong with all you people?" she almost hissed, as though our normal, indifferent faces were ruining her day.

"It's nothing Rose," Emmett consoled, "I'm just a bit bummed because we're going to have to try and fit in around the ice and stuff, I just want to go skating."

What Emmett said about the ice was true, and a bit of a pain, where as we had no trouble finding the grip –no grip ice the humans were going to be slipping all over the place and to at least seem a little normal we were going to have to hold unnecessarily onto the side of cars and walls all day.

I drove to school a bit slower today, allowing for the ice that remained from yesterday's rain, and got to school just before Bella did in her ancient truck. I got out of the car to see her pull in, driving exceptionally slowly even for the humans. As she stepped out she looked back to her tires, where her snow chains were. Bella's forehead creased and she walked over to them, holding her truck for support the entire way. The girl stood there for a few seconds, as though she was examining the tires, but her face had smoothed into some other emotion, love? Pain? I didn't know and I wanted to.

"No!" Alice breathed, and I saw it, a blue van skidding across the ice wrong, hitting Bella's truck, in the way was the small fragile girl whom was still standing looking down.

_Not her! _

But I was frozen, and then the tires started squealing a second and a half after Alice's vision, Bella looked up, her jaw seemed to drop just as it had yesterday, she met my gaze for a fraction of a second and her panicked startled eyes gave me the drive to set things going.

_Bella._

She needed me, that's the only thing I could think about, and I moved to her like I shouldn't have, too fast, too many witnesses, but I didn't care because Bella wasn't going to die, not now.

Grabbing Bella's waist, I felt her subtle curves against my body just as I had wanted to that first day in the cafeteria. Fate was mocking me. I held my breath, knowing now that I was too close, and in the same motion of me knocking her to the ground I knew I had been too fast, she hit her head against the icy tarmac and for that second I forgot that the van existed, I forgot I might have exposed us. I forgot everything in that second because I thought that I myself might have hurt Bella Swan.

Before I had a chance to see anything though my hearing forced me back into action, I heard the van, it was _still_ coming. It was curling around the end of Bella's truck, which I noticed randomly had done an amazing job at deflecting it, but the blue van was now heading toward Bella. An oath slipped through my gritted teeth, something that I've never before said in the presence of a lady, I did the only thing I could in the second I had left before the van was upon us, bracing my shoulders against the tan car behind us, and putting my hands out in front of me.

As I thought it was over the van rocked backward, and then was about to fall forward, onto her legs, _Oh for the love of all things –_ would this never end? I grabbed the underside of the van before it could fall on her, and then gripping her waist, I swung her legs out from under it, hoping that she wasn't seeing this, hoping she was alive. I let go of the van at a reasonable height, faintly aware of the panicked driver inside, his thoughts incoherent. His van was totaled, he couldn't control it, Bella's Chevy had made mincemeat out of it.

As the van hit the tarmac the glass popped and I rolled slightly to protect Bella. I listened to the glass tinkling onto the was silence for a second, and then everyone started shouting, but I needed Bella to hear me, to answer _me. _

"Bella? Are you alright?" I said as close to her ear as possible without trying to breathe in.

"I'm fine." She answered, though she sounded confused, and she tried to sit up, should I let her? She'd hit her head, she might be dizzy. She could do damage to her neck, and her back. I wished I could contact Carlisle. I had read a lot of books on medical issues but it was nothing on the centuries of Carlisle's hands-on medical experience.

"Be careful." I warned, deciding to compromise and let her make the decision, she seemed pretty sensible; she would make the right choice. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

Think? I knew she hit her head, but I had to act unsure, unconvinced of the facts, as though everything happened incredibly fast for me too.

She seemed to be confused again, think for a second, and then;

"Ow." Her surprised expression mixed with not knowing that she had hit her head, I tried to bite back my laughter.

"That's what I thought." Despite my efforts I think some of laughter showed through as her eyes narrowed.

"How in the…" she trailed off, and I knew this was where my acting skills would come into play. "How did you get over here so fast?"

"I was standing right next to you, Bella."

I knew that if I kept my voice even and low, she would believe me, I couldn't look away first either, that was a mistake only incompetent liars made. I was also out of air and still sitting incredibly close to her. She turned to sit up, as though aware of the danger. I let her this time, now that I knew she was capable of forming sentences and trying to figure out how I managed to save her in unbelievable circumstances. People were suddenly looking upon us, tears and shock filling their features, the incoherent thoughts in my head making it hard for me to concentrate. Then they started shouting at each other, and shouting at us.

"Don't move," Mike Newton shouted to Bella and almost immediately Bella tried to stand, I felt a certain amount of pleasure by the fact she ignored him, but then she never paid any attention to me either.

"Get Tyler out of the van!" a girl named Lauren shouted, more concerned for him than Bella, I put my hand on Bella's shoulder, pushing down lightly knowing that she shouldn't be standing yet.

"Just stay put for now." I ordered. She pouted, her bottom lip jutting out.

"But it's cold." She complained, and I couldn't help laughing a tiny bit, she had almost died twice, and been crippled by a van, and so she was concerned about the general temperature. It was as though this happened frequently.

"You were over there," she said suddenly bringing my laughter up short, "You were by your car."

"No I wasn't." My expression was maybe a little harder than it should have been as I saw it in the reflection of her eyes.

"I saw you." She continued stubbornly, and this was true, it was the moment that our eyes met that had saved her life. Her determined face stared at me, what should I do?

"Bella," I said, liking the way her name rolled off of my tongue, "I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way." My eyes felt like they were burning in the persuasiveness of trying to get her to admit I was right and she wasn't. The adults were now discussing how to move the van; I needed this conversation over and done with.

"No." she said, and I almost hit something, my anger bubbling inside of me.

"Please Bella."

"Why" she demanded, child-like and adult-like all at the same time, it confused me, I hadn't seen anything like it.

"Trust me," I pleaded, keeping my voice soft, as though I knew something, and the fact I did was beside the point.

Bella's eyes flickered in the direction of the sirens, could she only just hear them?

"Will you promise to explain everything to me later?"

This was the one thing I couldn't promise yet it was going to be the best deal I could get.

"Fine." I snapped, angry it hadn't gone better.

"Fine." She replied, matching my tone.

It took six EMTs and two male teachers to maneuver the truck enough to get to me and Bella, I considered helping so they could get to Bella quicker, but with her watchful eyes and Rosalie's threats from a distance. I waited impatiently, sitting across the space from Bella, making regulated breathing motions.

When they got to us I told them Bella had hit her head, they would put her in a neck brace, sure she would be angry but it would restrict her head movement, when they had her I put my heel on the tan car to take out the impression out that my shoulders had left.

_We'll get anything you missed._ Alice thought directly at me, as I slipped into the front seat of the ambulance that Bella was getting loaded in. I nodded slightly, enough for her to see that I was grateful.

Just as I closed the door Chief Swan pulled up, he recognized Bella on the stretcher and was sent into a paternal panic.

"Bella!" immediately I saw what Alice had meant. This girl was Charlie Swan's only child, his only family. To lose her would mean he would lose everything. Even now he was in such a panicked state I could hardly understand his thoughts. I watched the scene from the side mirror.

"I'm completely fine Char- Dad," she sighed, half raising an arm and then letting it slump back as though exhausted. "There's nothing wrong with me."

Charlie Swan turned immediately to the closest EMT for a second opinion, not trusting his daughter's opinion on her health, I couldn't say I blamed him. Bella Swan seemed to be the type of person who suffered silently, who wouldn't tell you if she hurt. That much I guessed from our first conversation.

I watched as Bella looked at my family, she seemed to realize something, a little flicker of light passed in her eyes. I looked to my family also, and saw their faces ranging from disapproval to downright fury. Charlie Swan's thoughts still banged around inside my head and I saw what Bella had seen, my family had no concern for my safety. There was of course no need to be concerned, the van could do little if any damage to me; however Bella Swan didn't know this and Bella Swan knew that something was wrong.

As we drove I listened all the while for something that could tell me that Bella was in need of my assistance, and I could hear Chief Swan in the cruiser on the phone to whom I could only guess to be Bella's mother. I could hear his part of the conversation through my natural hearing, and her replies through my 'unnatural' hearing. It was an odd compromise as I was still listening for the EMT's verdict.

"Hi Renee." Charlie grumbled, he seemed to feel awkward, and then I realized that this was his wife for a short time and he had never been with anyone else.

"_Charlie!_" Renee answered in surprise, I wished that they were actually having a face to face conversation, that way I could try to unravel Bella's secret mind through her mother.

"Renee I'm on the way to the hospital." Charlie said, he was a quiet man I thought, he kept things short, yet he kept saying her name, as though he liked it, like I liked Bella's.

"_What's happened this time?_" Bella's mother sighed. _Ah _so this wasn't the first time.

"Car accident." Charlie mumbled, almost as though he was embarrassed that this had happened when his daughter was with him for such a short time, she could have been with him for shorter, he was lucky. _Concentrate._

There was silence on the other end of the line. What does this mean? Was this the worse? _Argh for the silence!_

"_How bad?_" she asked suddenly, there was the faint sound of walking if I concentrated.

"They need to X-Ray and things… she's conscious… I'm not exactly sure what happened… but Renee, she could have died… the other kid's van was totaled, she wasn't in her Chevy."

There was a sigh from the other end. The person sounded twenty years older than when they first answered.

"_Well I've always said I didn't agree with the age of getting a license, I wouldn't have let Bella get one if she didn't need it." _

"I know," Chief Swan replied, and we were just about to pull into the hospital now. "Look I'm going to have to go, we're at the hospital."

"_Make sure she calls me, and thanks._" Renee ordered and then hung up. Charlie held the phone to his ear for a few seconds and then let it drop to the passenger seat.

I waited by the front of the ambulance as they unloaded her, she was a deep shade of scarlet, such a tempting color. _Concentrate._ I searched through the hospital, ignoring the pain from the humans, ignoring the confused thoughts of those waking from anesthesia. Before Bella had a chance to confront me I walked off, through the automatic doors and towards the person I needed to see. Carlisle. He was in his office, near the right side of the building of level three. I took the stairs three at a time, three being a reasonable number, and I was too impatient to take them at two at a time.

I strode off, ignoring those who stared at me, I was used to it. But being in a hospital, it made it more… awkward somehow. Maybe it was because it was in a hospital that I was changed, I didn't know. Maybe it was because being the creature I was I couldn't be sent to a hospital, I couldn't feel normal pain. Maybe it was just like this because.

_Come in Edward._

I went straight through to Carlisle's office, not stopping to speak to the secretary, I didn't know what my face looked like, but she didn't stop me. I shut the door behind me and turned to see Carlisle sitting in his seat. He was smiling pleasantly, as though I was a recovering cancer patient not someone who had almost just exposed his family and everything he had worked to build for us here.

He took in my features, the hard expression, the tense atmosphere, his face became troubled.

_Edward, you didn't… _he trailed off, not voicing what I didn't want to be voiced.

"Of course not." I whispered, and Carlisle relaxed.

_Of course, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have thought such things of you._

"Carlisle," I mumbled, "There's been an accident, Alice saw it coming a second before, I couldn't do anything but really _run_ across the lot and save… Bella." I choked out the last word, it was vital that Carlisle know first, that Carlisle help me understand how I could be like this, love the thing I was designed to kill.

"Edward, you did the right thing." He spoke to me aloud, standing and walking to me at a human pace, as though a human father would a son.

"But Carlisle," he didn't understand, "She saw, she saw everything, how I disappeared to her side, how I stopped the van… three times… from crushing her. She saw it all, I'm sure she did! I've exposed us!" I exclaimed, trying to understand why he wasn't understanding this, all I could read from him was pride.

"Edward, that means nothing, we can go and hide if we must; you saved the girl. Something that a week ago you were tempted to do the opposite of, I'm proud of you for that. And three times? Was it attached to her?" he asked, laughing.

I shook my head, still baffled. "It seemed like that. Could you go and see her Carlisle, please. I'm scared that when I knocked her out of the way she hit her head too hard."

I wouldn't disrespect any of Carlisle's colleagues, but I knew they couldn't hold up against his centuries of experience. He nodded and I almost sighed with relief. I would need to see her, to sort things out.

I turned and walked to the door, and Carlisle started packing his things away.

_Be careful._

I nodded, and made my way down to the ER. I walked in and took in the scene, Bella was lying on the bed, the neck brace discarded under it, and I rolled my eyes slightly, Tyler Crowley was in the bed next to her mumbling slightly. Bella had her eyes closed, feigning being asleep, she didn't fool anyone, but I thought I would ask anyway.

"Is she sleeping?"

Her eyes flew open, and narrowed as they spotted me, then widened slightly.

"Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry-" Tyler started, but I couldn't be done with his apologizing. Raising a hand I stopped him,

"No blood, no foul." I said, smiling again, trying not to show too many teeth with laughing at my private joke. If there had been blood, Bella's blood, then it would have been foul. Because now, even as I sat on the edge of Tyler's bed with his fresh blood still in the air, I realized that if you concentrated hard enough, it was easy to overcome the need. I knew it wouldn't be that simple with Bella's blood.

"So what's the verdict?" I asked in a friendly way.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go," she complained, her lip jutting out again, "How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"It's all about who you know," I replied, thinking about how hard it would be if someone actually did try to strap me down to one of these flimsy things, "But don't worry," I continued as I heard Carlisle's footstep's "I came to spring you."

I watched Bella's reaction as Carlisle came round the corner, would she see the link? The connections? Yes, I realized as her eyes lit in that special way, yes she could.

"So Miss Swan," Carlisle asked, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she said, with an edge of exasperation.

Carlisle went to the lightboard that was placed above Bella's head, and I wished so much I could be as close to Bella as he was now and taking the free breathes that he was now, not these pitiful little breathing motions I did whenever I wasn't expected to talk.

"Your X-Rays look good," Carlisle went on, _But look at all these scars! How many times has she hit her head? _"Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

"It's fine." She repeated, throwing a scowl in my direction.

Carlisle examined her head lightly with his fingers, I wish I could touch her without the fear of killing her, why was I so different?

She winced and Carlisle noticed, "Tender?" he asked her, so I had hurt her.

"Not really." She replied.

_It's nothing to worry about Edward, just a little bump compared to what could have happened. _

I laughed slightly at her bravery; she hated people knowing that she was suffering. It was silly really, people needed to know.

She looked over and I smiled, but I could see it was patronizing, and her eyes narrowed.

"Well your father is in the waiting room – you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all."

Bella seemed to half-nod, and by the sounds of the conversation I had heard earlier she would know that drill off-by-heart.

"Can't I go back to school?" She asked, and I almost laughed again, I couldn't imagine Bella being strong enough to be a formidable enemy for anything much, and yet she always insisted on hiding her weaknesses as though they were a dark secret.

"Maybe you should take it easy today." Carlisle encouraged, alarmed also by her positive attitude to get back on track after being almost crushed.

She glanced at me, her eyes hardened, and her lips set into a determined line. "Does _he_ get to go back to school?"

I wondered if she had meant to put the emphasis on 'he' but I decided it didn't matter, it shouldn't matter.

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived," I said smugly, annoying her on purpose, ever so slightly with the fact I wasn't on house arrest like she was.

"Actually," Carlisle corrected, reprimanding me slightly with his eyes "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

"Oh no," Bella moaned, and I found another thing I could add to my list for sure, as she covered her face with her hands. She hated attention. When she first arrived I had suspected as much when everyone had been trying to claim her attention and she was sitting, her shoulder s hunched in the cafeteria. However I thought this might be a teenage girl trying not to draw attention to herself if she did something stupid.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows at her reaction, "Do you want to stay?"

"No, no!" she seemed to cry out, insistent as she dropped her legs off of the bed. As she jumped down she staggered, and Carlisle automatically caught her, I envied him so much. I could practically feel it burning off of me in waves. He looked at me concerned, and I tried to compose myself.

_I'm sorry this is hard for you Edward._

"I'm fine," she assured everyone unnecessarily. Carlisle smiled again as he steadied her.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain." He suggested.

"It doesn't hurt that bad." She insisted, standing on her own two feet.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky," Carlisle pointed out, _what_ was he doing?

"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me," She corrected the story, and pointed a hard glance at me. I tried to hold back a grimace.

"Oh, well, yes," Carlisle agreed, in a preoccupied way, suddenly absorbed in some papers, but I knew that really he was trying to correct his mistake.

_Sorry. _

I watched as the light in her eyes flashed, she realized something else, but what was it?

"I'm afraid you'll have to stay with us just a little bit longer," he said to Tyler who had been watching the whole exchange with great interest, and now lay still while my father figure's fingers pulled back the bandage's to reveal the cuts and scrapes.

As soon as Carlisle's attention was reverted Bella was walking to me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" She hissed under her breath, she was so close, her neck was so inviting…

_Be careful. _Came Carlisle's warning, it jolted me back to my senses, my jaw in acute restraint, and I took a step back to breathe in.

"Your father is waiting for you." I said through my teeth, trying to clear my head of her smell. She glanced back at Carlisle and Tyler, Carlisle appeared attentive to his patient when really he was paying more attention to me, ready to restrain me at a moment's notice.

"I'd like to speak with you alone, if you don't mind," she pressed, her wide chocolate eyes holding all the depth that I needed to see to her soul, and yet her mind remained hidden. I shouldn't speak with her now. I knew I shouldn't, I should leave, leave and not return to my family until she was gone. My family would spread the story, boarding school perhaps, visiting relatives.

I glared at her, but really I was angry at myself, why did I chose to put myself in her power of all people? I couldn't leave her without an explanation, I had promised her one, and to go back on my promise felt very… ungentlemanly. I turned my back to her and walked down the room, listening to her on the verge of a run to try and keep up.

As soon as we were in a short hallway I stopped, took a deep clean breath of air and turned to face her.

I knew this was going to be hard, I had to be harsh, angry, I had to leave her with a horrible last impression.

"What do you want?" I asked, my earlier annoyance at myself flowing freely now. I tried to keep my eyes cold, but they were gold today, and not black, it was harder this way.

Already I could see that I was intimidating her, her eyes widened and her words came out in a low tone;

"You owe me an explanation."

I owed her this, I thought to myself, I didn't owe her an explanation at all, I owed her what she was getting, it would save her. It would save her from a fate worse than… I couldn't force myself to think of the word.

"I saved your life- I don't owe you anything." I lashed out at her, angry that I couldn't tell myself what was best for the girl. I had no idea what feelings were raging inside of me, but I knew that if I could hold them back then she would have a chance at life.

She flinched back from the harsh sound of my voice and I felt terrible for causing it, my resolve wavered… This girl: or my family.

"You promised."

It sounded like a child, and I was reminded of who we were, never changing, never moving, if I chose this girl she would notice, maybe not this year, but the next, it was definitely better this way. My family.

"Bella," Ignore how I like it, ignore it! "you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about."

I watched her face contort as her anger flared up, she glared at me again "There's nothing wrong with my head."

I glared back, glad that she was angry as well, it made it easier this way; for us both to be angry, to feed off of each other's pain.

"What do you want from me, Bella?"

"I want to know the truth," she replied, "I want to know why I'm lying for you."

She of course had every right to this information, but I couldn't let her have it.

"What do you _think_ happened?" I snapped, this seemed the best way to know what damage had been done.

"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me – Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both – and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it – and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all – and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up…"

She was tearful, and I stared at her for a second, she had seen everything, absolutely everything. This was worse than I imagined.

"You think I lifted a van off you?" I asked skeptically, it felt wrong to judge her mental status like this, but I owed my family. Her eyes narrowed when I asked her. Could she see I was acting? I didn't know anymore, I was so confused, I didn't know how to feel confident. She nodded, just once, and her jaw was held tight; I guessed this was from holding back the tears, maybe she was going into shock.

"Nobody will believe that, you know." My voice sounded too desperate, I was sure she could hear it, but I wasn't used to being confused, she was making me slip up.

"I'm not going to tell anybody." She said slowly, uttering each word as though I was mentally incompetent. I couldn't help the surprise that flitted across my face.

"Then when does it matter?" I asked, my voice losing its hard edge.

"It matters to me," she insisted, "I don't like to lie – so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it."

"Can't you just thank me and get over it?"

"Thank you." She was waiting, still angry, and expecting a reply.

I almost sighed,

"You're not going to let it go are you?"

I could tell she wasn't, or rather, I had assumed she wouldn't, it didn't seem to be in her nature. However I was long past the days of assuming things with Bella Swan. She was an interesting girl and she never did what I expected.

"No." she said, and I was glad that I finally got it right.

"In that case… I hope you enjoy disappointment."

We scowled at each other, she was the first to speak, she looked distracted, I couldn't understand it.

"Why did you even bother?" she asked, her voice like ice. She was beautiful, her eyebrows arched as she tried to look angry, her lips set together, their fullness complimenting each other. I took a deep breath as I looked at her beauty, and suddenly it was gone, for I was a hunter and she was prey, she was a delicious color, a mouth-watering smell. I caught myself before I could go any further.

"I don't know." I whispered before I turned and walked the way I had come.

As I drove home I knew that I had an excuse, a perfectly viable one for saving Bella. If she had been killed, if her blood had been spilt, there was no doubt what so ever that I would have exposed us in a much more ghastly way than the mere parlor tricks of arriving in time, and stopping the van.

I was too cowardly to go and face my family alone however, I waited in my car on a lay-by so that I could wait for Carlisle. I hoped that Alice wouldn't rat me out.

As Carlisle drove past I followed, ready for the onslaught that would follow, and it was going to be much worse than the last one. I could sense that.


	5. 4 Invitations

4. Invitations

Rosalie was pacing, and Emmett was lounging on the couch, he was never scared, never concerned, never apprehensive… it irritated me. Jasper was standing by the stairs as Alice sat on the second to the bottom, and Esme was sitting at the dining room table.

Carlisle and Esme were scrupulous about detail to being normal, the dining room was never used for that purpose of course. However when we had a dispute or discussion we used this to prevent the argument becoming violent, Esme sitting there was however wishful thinking I feared. I didn't want to argue, but I didn't think there was a choice anymore.

I pulled into the garage and followed Carlisle into the house. Esme flitted to Carlisle's side immediately, and she looked at me with reproachful eyes.

_Edward, they havn't told me anything please, what happened? _

I glared at my siblings, they shouldn't have kept this from her, she must have been sick with worry.

"There was almost an accident, Bella was involved, she was almost crushed three times by a van." Esme gasped, immediately thinking of the blood, "I couldn't do anything but expose us. I couldn't let her die."

Esme was panicked, thinking about where we could go. I didn't want to go anywhere.

"Only Bella saw, I don't think she knows what to make of it all, but she won't tell anyone." I explained.

"How do you know she won't tell anyone?" Rosalie snapped, "How do you know if you can't see her thoughts? By her word?"

This was true, Rosalie had immediately spotted my one weakness, the one flaw in my argument.

"Alice?" I asked, turning to her, and she suddenly nodded, closed her eyes and had a deep look of concentration. I tried to follow the images but they were too fast.

"It doesn't matter if we stay or go, Bella won't say anything." She said, and Rosalie was almost murderous. Jasper also looked unhappy.

"She knows that there's something different, it doesn't make sense to stay." Jasper reasoned, but in his mind a different plan was forming, destroying the evidence, any trace of our existence, and that trace was hidden in Isabella Swan's mind.

I growled at him, and half crouched as I saw the scene play out in his mind, he was deciding on breaking her neck, so that he couldn't be tempted.

"Edward," Esme whispered, and Alice placed a hand on Jasper's arm to caution him, but he didn't relax. Jasper was by far the most experienced fighter among us. His years in the south provided him with his knowledge, but I had the advantage of knowing his moves half a second before he played them out. We had never really fought, we had only played around, I didn't know who would win if we tried to kill each other.

"Jasper," Alice's voice was slightly higher than usual, and his head snapped around to her in an instant, "Please stop, I hate it when you start fighting, and besides, Bella is going to be my friend soon, and I would be most put out if you tried to hurt her."

Jasper stared at Alice incredulously, I could feel his questions burning like a flame, but he kept silent, unable to move. He would never deny Alice anything she wanted, but he would also do anything to quench any threats that could harm her.

"Alice, seriously?" Rosalie asked, and Alice nodded, unperturbed by the tone that questioned her taste.

"Edward is going to love Bella, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't already feel it," she said, looking at me, daring me to challenge her, "but she's going to die." Esme gasped, rushing to me, but I ignored her, still focused on Alice. "She's either going to die or become one of us."

So I'd behaved myself to the point that there was a choice in this matter, either she died, or was immortal. Which was the better option? Die and keep your soul, or live forever and not have to worry?

"Are you sure Alice?" Carlisle asked, not bothering to hide his disgust and concern.

"Well, there is a small chance she'll live to see her 18th birthday as human, but it's small, so small. It will mean Edward needs the kind of control I've never seen before, more so than even you Carlisle."

I shook my head, she would _not _become involved with us. I would _never_ allow it!

"Edward, you can't stay away from her!" _Think about it, think about leaving! _She added afterwards. I grimaced, and she smiled smugly.

"Your future is set, as is hers; it's going to be hard if not impossible to break that Edward."

I turned and walked out the door, slamming it as I went, I ignored it when it ricocheted back off its hinging, scattering the floor with splinters off wood. As soon as I was outside I started running, faster and faster, not really knowing where I was going until I stood outside a house. Bella's house. I took a calculated jump was resting on a window ledge, looking in on a room. It was slightly messy, shoes scattered along the floor, books piled by the bed. An ancient computer was placed on the desk, the modem stapled across the floor. I looked into the bed and lying, with the sheets tangled around her legs was Bella.

I had degraded to a peeping tom I realized, but I was worse as I slowly started to slide the window across. It wasn't locked, but it creaked and whined, and I stopped, hesitant for if she woke I might not be able to close it and jump down in time.

I would have to bring some oil for next time. _Next time? _I shook my head in disgust, but as I got the window fully open, I held my breath, and curiosity overrode that feeling as I lightly stepped into her room. Keeping my breath held I looked at her, she was laying face down, one arm splayed out, the other beneath her cheek. Her lips were parted slightly, and her hair was fanned out, some locks were covering her face and I was desperate to move them so I could see her more clearly. I restrained myself, and just as I was turning to leave something caught my attention.

"No… don't" Bella mumbled, I stared wide-eyed at her. Bella spoke in her sleep.

"Edward!" she called, louder, and I was too stunned move, too shocked to leave, she was dreaming about me, but she had said 'Don't'… it was a nightmare. Of course it was, surely I didn't expect anything different?

"Edward," she mumbled again, and I felt the same thrill go through me that I felt when I said her name, "Stay." She finished.

Stay? That didn't sound like a nightmare, it sounded different, as though she wanted me in her dreams, and that wasn't healthy. Dream or no I wasn't supposed to be with her, it wasn't natural.

Despite myself I sat in the old rocking chair in the corner, to see if she spoke anymore. Just after sunrise I left, relieved to be able to breathe again.

I would go to school and act as though she didn't exist, as though there was a thick wall between us. It was the best way. It was the only way for her and it could be the only way for me. I might not be able to live with myself if anything happened to her.

The first biology lesson after the accident we sat together and she sat down, I showed no sign I realized that another person had even existed there.

"Hello Edward." She said pleasantly, purposefully, was she going to make this difficult? I only turned my head a fraction of an inch towards her, hating myself for the ungentlemanly fashion that I was behaving towards her, nodded slightly and turned back.

It had been a month since and that was the last contact I had had with the girl I have been sitting next, a foot away from every week day. It didn't stop her watching us, or just me. I wasn't sure which, she always watched from a distance though, the cafeteria or the parking lot. When she thought we weren't aware of it. Alice wasn't happy, it was as though she missed the best friend she didn't even know.

_You're a lot better at being miserable than I'd give you credit for you know, you're future is all jumbled again. _She said one afternoon after one of Bella's staring antics.

"Thanks." I muttered sarcastically.

Mike Newton was annoying me, he had began sitting on Bella's side of the Biology table before class started, talking to her about things, never asking the right questions, the questions I wanted to know the answers to. He ignored me, as though I didn't exist, however his mind gave away the insecurities of the male teenage mind.

_I wonder if she's going to ask me to the dance or if I should ask her, I could always say yes to Jess before I lose her as a back-up, or if she'll ask Cullen, but they're obviously not talking, I mean, anyone could tell me that._

He was a coward not to ask him herself, but then here I was not talking to her because of what the future might possibly hold. He was still a coward. He was awkwardly trying to 'psych' himself up to ask her.

"So," he started, looking at the floor, and Bella looked up at him, "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great." Bella replied, her enthusiasm made me happy, she didn't sound down-heartened that she hadn't asked him herself. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

"Well…" He left the sentence unfinished hoping she would catch on quickly, she didn't and he would have to pluck up the courage himself. "I told her I had to think about it."

"Why would you do that?" she responded, letting disapproval flood her voice, but I could hear some relief there also, was she glad that there was an opening? That she could ask him? Mike Newton of all people?

"I was wondering… well, if you might be planning to ask me."

So Newton had gained the courage, and I felt my head tilt in their direction, I couldn't miss her answer, would she say she was planning to ask him? What would happen?

"Mike, I think you should tell her yes," she said, and I almost breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you already ask someone?" he asked, his pride wounded and his eyes flickered in my direction.

"No," she assured him calmly. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

She wasn't? Or was she just saying this to let him down softly? Gently as it were.

"Why not?" Newton demanded rudely, he shouldn't speak to Bella like that, he should have more manners.

Bella looked uncomfortable for a few seconds in the reflection of Newton's eyes and then she said;

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday." I understood perfectly, it was a spur of the moment plan, she had no idea what she was going to do until that moment.

"Can't you go any other weekend?" he asked, his child voice still rude.

"Sorry, no." she said, seeming to get tired of his questions, "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer – it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right." He mumbled, and then went to his seat. Bella sat with her eyes closed, pressing her two index fingers to her temple as though trying to relieve a bad headache. What was she thinking?

She opened her eyes and saw me looking but I didn't turn away, I _needed_ to know what she was thinking, had she turned down Newton because of her friend Jessica Stanley, or was she really uninterested? Did she plan to drive all the way to Seattle just to avoid the school dance or would she hide at home?

"Mr Cullen?" the teacher asked, and I was frustrated, he made me turn away, but Bella had started to shake, she hadn't been breathing properly, it was probably just as well.

"The Krebs Cycle." I answered, taking in a scorching breath and he nodded, unsurprised, but he only asked me because I was staring at Bella and Bella seemed in no fit state to answer a question.

Bella had looked at her book the moment I looked away, and shifted her hair over her shoulder so I couldn't again find purchase to search into her mind.

She didn't look at me for the rest of the lesson and I grew irritated, I wanted to talk to her. The bell rang and she turned her back, probably expecting me to leave immediately as I had for the last month.

"Bella?" I asked for her attention, giving her a choice as to whether she gave me it or not. She had every right to ignore me. I had been inexcusably rude this last month. However the consequences of me not being were worse that she could imagine.

She turned slowly, as though she wasn't willing to but was forced to by invisible strings. Her expression was wary as she looked at me. I didn't say anything as I looked at her; I was waiting for the class to leave.

"What?" she asked with a bit of petulance in her voice, "Are you speaking to me again?"

I bit back a smile, trying not to fall back into our old tense little bubble. "No, not really."

She closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose, I wondered if she was aware that she was grinding her teeth.

"Then what do you want, Edward?" she asked me, her eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry," I said, trying to sound sincere, but not too deep, "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

She opened her chocolate eyes, and they held a lot of confusion. My serious face was mirrored in them.

"I don't know what you mean." She said, her voice was a little guarded and defensive.

"It's better if we're not friends," I tried to explain the best I could, without slipping up again, "Trust me."

But when did she ever trust me? I wasn't someone to be trusted. I sighed and watched her eyes narrow, what had I said?

"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," she hissed through her teeth, momentarily stunning me, "you could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" I questioned, her tone was confusing, as confusing as the statement. I didn't regret anything, not as far as I was aware anyway. "Regret for what?"

"For not letting that stupid van squish me."

She thought I regretted that? Of all things that had happened over the last couple of months that was the one thing that had gone right! It had gone right and here she was questioning my opinion on it! I bit my anger back, trying to calm myself before I spoke again.

"You think I regret saving your life?"

"I _know _you do," she snapped, and I was unable to contain myself much.

"You don't know anything."

She turned quickly for a human, and gathered her books together, she stood from her stool and I watched as she strode to the door. She tripped slightly and her books tumbled to the floor. I bit my lip from the laughter as she seemed to debate whether they were even worth picking up, but she sighed and bent to retrieve them.

No one was here to I was at her side with the books in my arms in a second.

"Thank you." She said coldly, and my eyes narrowed.

"You're welcome." I retorted.

She straightened and left the room. I went to last lesson in a foul mood and Emmett didn't help with his wise-crack jokes. However my mood lightened somewhat when I left without Emmett against and saw Eric standing by Bella's truck, his intentions as clear as day in my head. I laughed slightly and walked at a quicker pace to walk past just at the right moment to get to my car.

He stood uncomfortably waiting for her, I could tell from this distance even without my extra sense that he was considering how to stand. Upright and tall, or slouch against the bonnet, and be casual? The questions raged in his mind, but at least he had more courage than Mike and was going to ask Bella himself and not wait for her.

I saw Bella then, walk around the corner from the direction of Gym. She did a double-take when she saw him standing upright and tall at her truck, but then she started walking again.

"Hey Eric," she called from a distance, and he hesitated, not wanting to shout his question across the lot.

"Hi Bella." He said when she was closer, I was timing this just right.

"What's up?" she asked as she unlocked the door. She didn't seem to have noticed his awkward behavior, the way he held himself to stiffly, or the way his eyes gazed upon her.

"Uh, I was just wondering… if you would go to the spring dance with me?"

It was almost a good way to word it, I thought, he wasn't assuming she would say yes, he made that clear in his question, but he had hesitated at the beginning, surely she would pick up on that, the uncertainty? Would she believe that he would be unsure of whether he wanted to go with her? That she was a last option? Then at the end his voice broke, as though he believed himself unworthy of giving her a good time, I truly believed him to be unworthy, but as I kept reminding myself. This was about Bella, what was she thinking?

"I thought it was girls' choice?" she said, seeming startled by his question, did his unhealthy skin and slick greasy hair please her in some way?

"Well, yeah." He seemed to be ashamed of asking now, of breaking the rules. Bella closed her eyes, and I was desperate to see what happened next, just like I had been with the Newton child.

"Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day." She said diplomatically, _Thank you Seattle… _I thought.

"Oh," he said, down-heartened, "Well maybe next time."

"Sure," she agreed, and my breathing stopped, what did that mean? But then she bit her lip as though she didn't want to give him too much leverage.

I laughed, just as I walked past, and Bella looked at me, I however tried to keep my face composed as I looked straight ahead. She opened her truck door as I reached my car and Bella slammed her door. She revved the engine loudly, but I was already in the car and reversing out, cutting off her only exit. My family were by the cafeteria now, and they were headed this way. Bella thrummed her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, also looking over to them.

My plan had worked perfectly, I knew it was stupid, but what if he had phoned her and I wasn't there to hear the answer? What if she said yes to him?

Tyler Crowley was stuck directly behind Bella in the jam I was causing, and as she deliberately seemed to look everywhere but at my Volvo she gave him a quick glance, ignoring his waves from the driving seat of the used Sentra he had recently bought.

He was more confident that Eric and the Newton child, he stepped out of his car and walked up to Bella's passenger side window, his engine still running the door open.

She didn't notice him at first, and so he rapped on the window with his knuckles. She looked over and then to her review mirror. She seemed to acknowledge the fact that it was indeed Tyler standing there and then she leant across the cab and, with some apparent difficulty rolled down the window half-way. She then sat back up and an annoyed look to my cars direction and said;

"I'm sorry, Tyler, I'm stuck behind Cullen."

Ouch, I wasn't even 'Edward' anymore, or maybe she liked Tyler, maybe she didn't want this Tyler Crowley person thinking she liked me and that's why she called me 'Cullen' for him. The angry lion type feeling welled up inside of me.

"Oh, I know – I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." Crowley grinned, resting his arms, on her window. Bella's bottom lip dropped ever-so-slightly.

"Will you ask me to the spring dance?" he continued, and this was outrageous. He asked _her_ to ask _him. _This way he could tell everyone that she asked him as though it was _her _idea. I shook my head.

"I'm not going to be in town, Tyler." She said, her voice sounding sharp, and I liked this, she too must have seen what I had seen. That he was playing her to get things his way.

"Yeah, Mike said that," He admitted, rejection not completely registering with him yet.

"Then why –"

Tyler shrugged, and I watched from the rear-view mirror "I was hoping you were letting him down easy."

Irritation flashed across Bella's face. I saw it, but Tyler didn't.

"Sorry, Tyler," she said, the irritation showing slightly in her voice "I really am going out of town."

"That's cool. We still have prom." He smiled, and then walked back to his car before she could respond. Her mouth hung openly now, and I couldn't help but shake with laughter, she looked at me as Alice slipped into the front, the others into the back. I sped away, leaving her to be the one holding up the traffic.

I knew that as I drove home one thing was certain, Alice was right, I couldn't stay away from Bella.

As I thought about this Alice gasped and her eyes lit up.

"It means nothing," I growled, but she shook her head in disagreement.

"You're wrong." Was all she said, but I could see through her mind that my future was back on course, as was Bella's. I grimaced.

That night I returned to Bella's house, with the oil, and the window glided effortlessly across. It rained and as the rain pattered down, Bella rolled and moved in her bed so much I could have sworn that she was awake trying to get comfortable.

I sat down in the rocking chair, and then gripping my thighs tightly I took in a small hesitant breath. _Ahh_ it was beautiful, so delicious, so _painful_.

Breathe it in. I knew that if I really wanted to spend any time with Bella that this was my first priority. To make sure I was safe. To make sure I could handle the thirst, and to make sure I wouldn't hurt her. I took in another breathe, ignoring the fire that made the venom in my mouth seem unbearable.

_Bella_. I thought. It was really her lying there, not food, Bella. I went through the night taking slow calculated breaths, they were getting easier all the time. The more she was in my head, the more I could control it. Soon I had to leave, run home, on the pretence of getting in the car with my family and seeing Bella at school. It was then that I realized something, as I was running.

Bella might say _no_ to me. Alice might see something yes, but I could have done something wrong, she might say no at first, all my assumptions, all my precautions, and I overlooked the most vital thing; Bella's choice. I was so arrogant.

When I got home I ignored Alice's joy, and I ignored Jasper's warnings. I ignored Rosalie and her threats, I even ignored Emmett's teasing.

I went for a quick hunt in the park, taking down two deer, leaving my eyes a bright gold, and then changed for school. Where I would see Bella.

When I was back Carlisle had left for work, Esme was sitting at the dining room tablet reading something in Arabic, and everyone was sitting waiting for me in the Volvo. Alice Jasper and Emmett were not too impatient, but Rosalie was tapping her foot and flicking her hair every once and a while to mark the time passing.

"Alright alright, I'm coming." I muttered, but they could hear me, as I walked out the replaced door, waving to Esme. She only half raised a hand, not quite forgiving me, for breaking her front door.

We arrived at the school and they others made no comment when I didn't join them in getting out of the car. I was waiting for Bella. I could faintly hear her truck coming up the highway from the opposite way.

I waited, and as she pulled in she seemed to deliberately park in the opposite part of the lot. I frowned, and then got out, not locking the car, and went over to her. She dropped her keys as she got out, and they landed in a puddle, I didn't want her to put her hand in the water, it would be cold, so I went slightly more quickly; retrieving them before she could.

She jerked back up and I was leaning against the truck, smiling. Her eyes narrowed, she was still angry with me?

"How do you _do_ that?" she asked, more irritated that anything, irritated at being kept out of a secret.

"Do what?" I asked innocently as I held out her key, and she reached for it, so I dropped it into her palm.

"Appear out of thin air." She replied exasperated.

"Bella," I started, allowing myself for once to enjoy the feeling saying her voice made me feel "It's not my fault you are exceptionally unobservant." My voice was quiet because I knew this wasn't true, she was exceptionally _observant. _She noticed far too much. She scowled at me.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" she demanded, looking away from me still, I wish she wouldn't, I wished she would look at me, I yearned to reach for her chin and move her face so I could see her eyes.

"I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death." She continued.

"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." I laughed slightly at the memory of Bella's face.

"You…" she gasped, her jaw dropping, her expression a mixture of fierce anger and shock. It was amusing to watch.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," I continued, I was doing far from the opposite now, as I took in another breath.

_Feel the burn_.

"So you _are_ trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?"

This made me angry, how could she assume that I regretted that? That I didn't want to do that? This was completely unnecessary as part of our conversation.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd," I said in a low, slightly angry voice.

Her eyes narrowed, and her face became hard. She turned her back, swishing her hair and started to walk away. It took me perhaps two seconds to get over the strengthened scent of her hair, to bite it back, and then follow.

"Wait," I called, but she kept walking, her boots sloshing against the puddles the rain had made. I caught up to her, keeping pace.

"I'm sorry that was rude," I apologized, but she pretended as though I hadn't spoken, "I'm not saying it isn't true," I amended, "but it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?" she grumbled. Did she really want me to? She had asked me to stay in her dream, but dream and reality can differ, or so I have read.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," I laughed, trying to keep the conversation light, she couldn't of course know, that I watch her sleep.

"Do you have multiple personality disorder?" she asked, frowning. She was serious, she really wondered if that was the case. To me my moods were well thought out, and planned, to her they were fast, vicious.

"You're doing it again." I pointed out, avoiding her question.

She sighed, giving in, "Fine then. What do you want to ask?"

This was where I could have some fun, and I tried to keep the humor out of my voice as I continued.

"I was wondering," I started, taking a leaf out of Eric's book, "if, a week from Saturday – you know, the day of the spring dance –"

"Are you trying to be _funny_?" she interrupted me, flinging herself round and looking up so I could at last look into her eyes, I saw my own amused expression reflected, but if I looked past that I could see anger, irritation, but something else, something more.

"Will you please allow me to finish?"

She bit her lip, and then clasped her hands together, was she considering hitting something? That was odd. I didn't have her written down as a violent person.

"I heard you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

I watched as shock crossed her face, surprise lit her eyes. Part of me, the part that begged for Bella's safety wanted her to refuse, wanted for her to say no, and yet the other part, the more selfish part of me, the part that craved Bella's company wanted her to say yes, more than anything.

"What?" she asked, as though she hadn't heard.

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?"

"With who?" she asked, I really had placed a bad impression upon myself, I would have to do a lot to sort this out.

"Myself, obviously." I said slowly, as though, part still hoping she would feel the danger.

She was still surprised; I could see that, it was etched across her face.

"_Why_?"

I chose this moment to make the conversation light again, and the best way was to tease her, so I chose the easiest thing.

"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it."

"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern." She replied, and she started walking again, but she wasn't as angry, I took this as a good sign.

She wasn't going to say yes, I could see it… she was too angry. I was ruining it; I had ruined my chances because I was too big-headed and thought I could stay away from this beautiful creature.

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?" I replied, not sure of why I was carrying on, but keeping pace with her again.

"I don't see how it's any of your business."

Immediately I saw the loophole, but would she take it? Would she say yes? Please let her say yes. Thinking of a day with Bella outside of school was just incredible.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

"Honestly, Edward." She trilled, and I thought I heard her voice rose slightly as she said my name, but I could have imagined it. "I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."

She stopped walking to look at me again, under the shelter of the cafeteria, I was desperate to make this clear to her, to make her see she should run from me as far and as fast as she could, but I wanted her to stay all the same, stay as close to me and for as long as possible.

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

Friends were good, right? Better than not being friends, not as good as other relationships, but… I had to stop; I couldn't really think past there, I didn't even know if I could manage a friendship with Bella.

"Oh, thanks, now that's _all_ cleared up." She responded with sarcasm and I almost grimaced.

"It would be more… _prudent_ for you not to be my friend," I explained, "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Bella."

As I watched her reaction she looked at me, I was far too intense than I should be, but she didn't seem to mind, she was looking at me, with her wide eyes, her lips slightly parted.

"Will you go with me to Seattle?" I asked, unable to get the intense edge off my voice.

She only nodded, and I smiled, but then I became serious again,

"You really _should_ stay away from me," I said, warning her again, "I'll see you in class."

I turned to walk away, and as I did I realized that Bella, Isabella Swan, had said yes to me… _yes! _I was going to Seattle with her, and… then it dawned on me; the challenge that I had just organized, Bella Swan, alone, her scent all around me in the small confines of the car and the long drive to Seattle.

I would not think about it now, because I was ecstatic, Bella had said yes to _me!_


End file.
